Aunt Lindsay's visit

Well I still can't find the cord that connects my camera to my computer, so I will have to keep looking before I can add those pictures.  I have no idea when I will find that cord though, so here are a few pictures I haven't posted yet.  

We were fortunate to have Aunt Lindsay come and visit us at the end of February!  The girls dressed for her arrival of course.

I'd like to say we really showed Aunt Lindsay an amazing time.  But honestly we spent a lot of time at home, holding babies and watching Ben's shows.  But that's okay.  It was great to get to relax and hang out with her.  Ben adored having her visit, and the girls loved meeting their favorite aunt.  I feel so lucky to have such a great friend in my sister in law, so I loved having her visit too.

We did get out one day and took Lindsay on one of our 'hikes.'  It was a gorgeous day and so nice to just be out of the house for a bit.  Ben had a blast running around.  We brought a lunch and just enjoyed the weather.

Of course the boys found some sticks.

Ben was so happy to be out of the house!

Eating outside is the best.

Ben really benefited from the extra attention.  The girls were only five weeks old at this point, so they were still needing most of my attention.  He loved having his aunt to play with!

He had to show off his Woody jammies

Even cute from the back. ;)

Friends!!

We really do want to thank Lindsay for making the trip here.  It was a long one, and even longer to get home (boo flight cancellations).  We really appreciate her taking the effort.  We have the best family!  And sorry for so few pictures, I'll do a photo catch up when I finally get the others.

Ben can't wait to see you again, Aunt Lindsay!  Neither can we!!

-Kim

Story time with Daddy

It's hard to get Ben to sit still, but Ben loves to read with Daddy.  Pat, as a teacher, excels at story time.  It happens pretty frequently.  In fact I think Ben prefers Pat to read to him over anyone else.  It is so sweet to see the two of them reading together, and I try not to disturb the moment.  This particular time the girls and I were on the couch, so I was able to get some cute pictures.   

It starts out standing.  It is hard to get Ben to sit still.  

Pat's storytelling gets him to sit for a bit.

It gets really good, better settle in for the long haul...

 Reading is so fun!

I hope that Ben always loves to read with us.

-Kim

Story time and a cow!

Like a lot of Chick-Fil-As, the one by us has events for kids during the week.  This past week Ben and I decided to check out a story time they were having.  I wasn't sure how great it would be, but hey, we could always get some chicken.  We were near Meo, so she was able to meet up with us too!  Bonus for me as she could sit with the girls while I focused on Ben a bit.  It turns out the event was great!  It wasn't anything huge, but it was perfect for someone Ben's age.  Plus, one of our new playgroup friends was there as well!  It was great to get to see them. 

This weeks story was about planting a garden.  After the story the kids got to plant some seeds of there own and color pictures of flowers and vegetables.  Ben jumped right in to participate, which I loved.  Sometimes he hangs back a bit, so I love seeing him be bold and really enjoy himself!  Sadly when we left the restaurant the winds were super high, so our plant cups blew over.  We were not able to salvage them.  Ben didn't seem to mind though, he had fun.  

It was a great visit for two other reasons than just story time.  One, it was the first time Ben climbed to the top of the play place.  He can be a cautious kid, so he hadn't yet climbed up past the second step.  He didn't go into any of the tubes yet, but I am happy he challenged himself to go to the top of the big steps!  The second big excitement was that the cow came out to visit.  I wasn't sure what Ben would think of that.  It is so hard to tell if giant characters will excite or freak out kids at this age.  And it changes from encounter to encounter.  Well this time Ben was so excited!!  Seriously, he was the most excited kid there, which was so cute.  He jumped up and down and cheered.  He gave the cow hugs and fist bumps.  He was just so happy to see this cow there.  I was so happy to see just how thrilled he was!  And even better, when the cow had to leave Ben didn't mind.  He just waved and said, "Bye bye, Cow!"  I wish I had gotten a video of him jumping up and down.  It made his day to see the cow, and it made mine and Meo's to see him so happy.  I know it is a little thing, but I love that he got such a moment of joy.

Coloring!

He looks like such a big kid!

Jumping for joy to see the cow.

Big hugs!

Waving bye

Ben was sweet, he pointed out the cow to his sisters. Of course they were sleeping and oblivious to the amazing event that had taken place.  In a couple weeks story time is back.  The theme this time is supposed to be dinosaurs, so you can bet we will be there!  I love that Ben is enjoying this sort of activity.  He is at such a fun age!!

-Kim

Letting go and letting Dad-BFBN

It's a Babywise Friendly Blog Network pinterest day!  Today we are talking about all the other people who watch our kids.  Sitters, coaches, teachers, family.  How do we choose who to let watch them?  What are our expectations for people in these rolls?  Check out all the ladies and the pinterest board to see all the great blogs.

My topic today is dads.  (By dads and husbands I mean partners and co-parents in general.) I know, dads seem like a no-brainer on the list of who watches our kids.  I mean, they are one of the parents!  But if you are a Type A do everything yourself person like I am, even letting go to let your husband lead with the kids is hard.  But it is so important to let that happen.  If I try to do everything all the time, I end up resenting my husband for not doing more.  That isn't fair, as I didn't even give him a chance!  It isn't fair to him because he doesn't get the chance to develop his parenting skills.  It isn't fair to the kids because they don't get to build their one on one relationship with their dad.  And they so need that relationship without the ever present shadow of mommy hanging around.

I am writing this post, in large part, as a reminder to myself of the reasons why I need to back off and let my husband take the kids sometimes.  I hope that it helps others too.  The girls are two months old now, and I haven't really left them for long.  Recently though, I did leave all three kids with Pat.  It was necessary.  I had to take the cat to the vet, and I really don't like having the kids with me when I do that.  Pat was on spring break, so it was the perfect chance to take care of her without the kids.  When planning it I realized that Pat hadn't been alone with the girls for longer than it takes me to shower yet.  That isn't good long term.  I am nursing, so it is practical for me to be around all the time.  But the girls are on more of a schedule now, so it was time to make a change.  Here are some tips to make these early outings more doable.

1)  Keep it brief at first.  Don't think that you have to be out all day.  A short outing is all it takes to get started!  I leave for less than an hour for the first outing.  I have found keeping it short is best for me as a mom.  It is not meant as a slight to my husband, he can totally handle the kids longer.  But I feel the need to be back sooner, so that is what I do.

2)  Feed the babies right before you leave.  This is important if you are nursing.  By feeding then leaving you can maximize the amount of time you have to be out.  If you are bottle feeding this isn't as big a deal, as your husband can feed the baby.  I have found my biggest stress when being away from my babies is worrying I have left a hungry child.  That isn't fair to the baby, and it isn't fair to the caregiver.  I feel better knowing we do have a back up plan in case of emergencies.  In our case that is milk in the freezer, and honestly a can of formula.  (I know a lot of sources recommend not having any formula in the house if you want to breastfeed.  I see the logic in that, you can't quit if you have no back up plan.  For me having a back up eliminates some of the worries that my child will starve and lets me relax a bit.  This actually helps me nurse better.  Do what is best for you.)  Full babies are usually happy babies as well, which sets up a more successful time for all parties involved.

3)   Trust your husband.  This sounds so silly, I know.  I am not trying to be disrespectful to husbands as caregivers.  I just know as a mother I feel the need to be the total caretaker to my babies.  I have a hard time letting someone else step in and care for them.  So this is a me problem, not a husband problem.  I think it is fairly normal though.  I have to remind myself these are my husband's children too.  He wanted them, he loves them.  He is a smart, wonderful man.  (I mean, why else would I have married him?)  He can handle the kids!  He wants to handle the kids!  We are a team of parents and it doesn't have to be just me doing to caring.  Of course this thinking is constantly needed, but it is especially important when the babies are super young.  The sooner you can relax and see that the kids are just fine, even if things aren't done exactly the way you do it, the easier it is to keep that attitude up.

What are the benefits for leaving the kids?  I mean, who cares if you are the only one caring for them all the time.  (We moms often think we are the only ones doing it right anyway. ;) )

1)  Good bonding time for your husband.  Dads need to bond with the babies too.  They have an important role to play.  As the mother, I often have alone time with my kids.  It is easy for me to always be around.  But dads need and deserve that time too.  They need to parent and enjoy their child without someone watching or participating.  They need to feel free to make their own mistakes without judgmental eyes on them.  (I know we aren't trying to judge, but it is easy to feel judged.)  The kids need to get to know their father on his own.  Everyone wins from some alone time between father and child.

2)  It helps build dad's confidence.  I think a lot of the time dads don't participate in the early care of the babies out of a lack of confidence.  They don't want to mess up, they don't want to hurt the baby, and they just don't always know what to do.  The best way to learn is to dive in and do the work!  By spending time with the kids they will see the kids are fine if a diaper isn't put on right.  The kids don't care if their outfits match perfectly.  They just want to be loved.  And dads are so good at that.  Getting in there and changing diapers, holding the baby, and just loving them demystifies the whole situation.  This helps dads feel good continuing to be in charge, which will be super important as the kids grow up.

3)  It lets mom eliminate some pressure and resentment.  Again, this might not be fair, but it is easy to resent your husband for not helping with the baby enough.  The thing is, I have often found he doesn't help a ton because I don't let him!  I jump in and try to do everything myself.  By letting my husband take the lead early, I can get rid of some of that resentment.  I also get some pressure of myself.  I can see that someone can do things differently than me and the kids are just fine,

4) It helps mom recharge.  This one is obvious.  As much as I want to be everything to all my children all the time, sometimes I just need a break.  I think when the kids are super little it can be so easy to forget this.  But even though the newborn time is short, I still need moments here and there to step back and not have the immediate job of caring for the kids.  It doesn't have to be a long moment, but even running to the store for 15 minutes makes me feel better.  No matter how frustrated I am with a parenting situation, being away from my kids makes me miss them.  Missing them makes me want to dive back in there and deal with whatever we have going on.

With all these ideas in mind, I had my little outing without the kids.  I was only gone about an hour, and of course Pat and the kids were just fine.  I missed the kids so much, but I feel good that I am able to leave and things won't fall apart.  Of course I didn't expect them to, but it still feels good to get a successful attempt under our belts.  Now to remember my own advice and start planning my next escape! :)

-Kim

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Two months old!

Ali and Sam are two months old!!  This has been a great month with them.  Like the one before, and I'm sure all to follow, it has flown by.

This month Ali and Sam are even more fun than they have been.  They have more times in which they are awake and alert.  They love to look at us and are smiling.  They also love to watch their big brother run around.  He isn't yet aware of how much they love to watch him.  I know when he realizes he has a captive audience he will be thrilled.  The girls are still eating well, which I love.  I am able to nurse them at the same time for all their day time feedings, which is awesome.  It saves so much time to be able to nurse them at the same time.  Their sleep is improving.  Sure, some nights are still more challenging than others.  But they are improving.  The major challenge is usually getting Ali asleep initially.  After that things aren't too bad.  Sammy needs a little more help at nap times, so they each have their strengths.  I really can't complain though.  Sure, we are tired some days.  But for twins I think we are doing very well in the sleep department.

This month we really settled into our main daytime routine.  We get out of the house a couple of days a week, which Ben and I both need.  The girls are very good on the go.  We took them to the Bunny Hop downtown, and to an Easter Egg hunt with Ben!  They of course don't participate yet, but they are still getting some firsts in!

They are both holding their heads up well and as I said smiling.  They are starting to coo a bit.  Ali managed to roll over from her belly to her back!  Sammy tried so hard but hasn't quite made it over yet.  I'm not too worried about that.  Ben rolled over at 12 days (yes, 12.  Gramma was here and can vouch for it.)  He did it a bit then kind of 'forgot' how to do it for several months.  So cool they are trying and in Ali's case succeeding, but nothing I'm over thinking.  Both of the girls are reaching for items and sometimes managing to grab them, which is great and right on track for normal development.  Yay for normal! ;)

Ben is still doing well with the girls.  He likes to give them hugs and kisses.  He brings them their burp cloths and blankets.  He almost always throws their diapers away for me.  (I love that.)  Overall he is just being a great brother.  He calls them 'girls' and 'ladies.'  It is so cute to hear.  Pat and I are so proud of how he is doing.

The girls had their two month appointment and both are looking very healthy.  They aren't very tall, but really that is expected in our family.  :P  Ali is ten pounds thirteen ounces and Sammy is ten pounds five ounces.  Ali is the bigger eater of the two, always ready to have some food.  Sammy is a little less into it.  She eats well, but not with the same gusto that Ali does.  Ali has also had the harder time at night, leading me to offer her more chances to eat to try to nurse her to sleep.  (I know, a bad habit but sometimes you just want to sleep!)  Sammy has started to pick up her interest in eating, so I think she is going to catch up soon.  In comparison Ben was almost fourteen pounds by this point, but he did start out two pounds bigger than the girls.  The doctor is pleased with their growth and so are we.  They have some tiny rolls, which are so great to see in babies!  I love how cuddly they are.

As always, I got some pictures of them for their 'birthday.'  It was incrementally easier to get pictures of them than last month, but still challenging.  I'm no newborn photographer, so these are some of the better ones I got.

My sweet ladies

Sam!

Ali!

Sister hugs

These two are a double blessing in our lives.

-Kim

Because he looks good

A couple of resales ago we found an adorable suit for Ben for only about $4.  We didn't have any plans for it, but we couldn't help ourselves.  I've been hoping we would have somewhere fancy for Ben to wear it, but so far we haven't.  We might make him wear it to Easter services, but generally our church isn't that fancy.  And the rest of the family can't quite keep up with his level of awesome.  Instead, one night we just dressed Ben up in it.  At first he wasn't super in to it, but he came around quickly when he realized how good he looked.

 So here, just because, are some pictures of Ben in a suit.

Kid cleans up nice.

-Kim

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  I love fun holidays like this.  Any excuse for a theme is awesome.  We haven't gone all out this year.  We can still get away with the minimum with Ben.  I think future years we will play it up a bit more.  We are having our corned beef and cabbage tonight (yay for slow cooker meals!).  And of course I made sure the kids wore green!  Thank you to Gramma and Grampa for the outfits for the girls and Ben's new shirt!  We really appreciate you always thinking of the kids for the holidays. 

Ben was super excited to wear his new lucky Paw Patrol shirt.  He loves it so much we will probably keep wearing it after the holiday has long passed.  He was so proud of it when we put it on this morning!  

The girls looked so sweet in their "Kiss Me For Luck" outfits!  I do love when they match.  Today was the first day they tried on some bows too.  Ali is in the white bow, Sammy is in the pink.  They didn't wear them too long.  I get worried about crushing their heads.  They looked super cute while wearing them though.  I can't wait til their hair is longer and I can use the bows that clip in instead.  

I feel so lucky every time I look at my sweet family.  I hope everyone is enjoying the day as much as we are!!

-Kim