Basketbal hoop

Pat was a savvy garage sale shopper and got Ben a basketball hoop for almost nothing!  He and Ben have been having fun playing with it in the back yard.  The girls and I decided to get in on the action a bit recently.

Ben's favorite is to slam dunk.  He yells "Score!" every time.  The funny thing about that is he grabs a ball, and backs up into Pat or me until we pick him up to dunk.  We are trying to teach him to actually toss the ball at the hoop, but he is not into that yet.  We currently have the hoop in the backyard, so we are holding off on any dribbling lessons.

Slam dunk!

The girls were happy to be outside in the nice weather.  They were totally rocking their Dr. Seuss matching onesies.  I love these onesies because their twin cousins Joe and Ella wore them too!  Yay for twin cousin hand me downs!

Sammy!

Ali!

In typical toddler fashion, Ben was not interested in my attempts to teach him the rules of the game.  (And yes, I do know them.  I actually played in high school back in the day.  I have not actually maintained any skills though:P ) Pat and I ended up having a little one on one game to show him the ropes a bit.  As you can tell from how diligently he paid attention that went really well.

Not interested in Mommy and Daddy's shenanigans

The girls were not into it either

Ben did enjoy his firetruck while we goofed off.  And he liked our mini game of dodge ball we played with him.  (Good parenting there, right?)

Overall Ben loves the hoop, and I am loving playing with it too!

Sigh, 4 months old and already not wanting to take pictures with mommy. :)

Cutest little hoopster!

Score!

-Kim

BFBN: Needing Dad: A Bedtime Story

It's a BFBN pinterest day!  With Father's Day right around the corner, the ladies of the BFBN are talking about all things dad.

As a mom that has the kids all day, I am pretty much the default parent for most things.  I don't mind that, it's how our family has chosen to divide the labor.  Not to mention the girls are still nursing, which makes me super important in their lives.  Ben is still only two, and he tends to be super into mommy.  I think it is easy to overlook a dad's role when the kids are so young.  Despite the fact that I tend to be the go-to parent in a lot of situations, I for sure couldn't do all the parenting on my own.  As I mentioned in my post Letting go and letting Dad, it is so important to let dads do things their own way.  More than just letting each parent do what they think is best, it is important for Pat and I to work as a team.   We made a big jump when we had the girls.  We went from two on one to being outnumbered.  With the girls being so young we can do a modified man to man- one parent with Ben, one with the girls.  But overall we are zone defense here.  That means constant communication and teamwork.  It also means I had to realize that in order to meet the needs of everyone, I couldn't try take over and do everything myself.

A great example of how I've really come to rely on Pat to do his dad thing is at bedtime.  When the girls were newborns they had a later bedtime.  I was able to put Ben to bed, then later put the girls to bed.  Well now that the girls are a little older they have moved to an early bedtime.  This puts their bedtime right when Ben's is.  Now yes, we could move one or both of the times around a little bit.  But my children's sleep is one of the most important things I work on, and in order to give each child the best sleep we could the times had to overlap a bit.  Add to this that Ben is kind of potty training.  I say kind of because we are doing a very long, drawn out method.  I'm not going to go into the details of it now, but a part of it involves Ben of course sitting on the potty before bed.  The girls also nurse right before bed.  Both of these things take time, and it means one parent can't do it all.

Fortunately for me, Pat has had no problem handling the bedtime routine with Ben.  (Obviously if the girls need to nurse that's where I am.)  The first night was a little confusing, but now we have it down.  We bring all the kids upstairs.  I start nursing the girls while Pat does teeth brushing and using the potty with Ben.  Then the boys come in to the bedroom with the girls and I for prayers and songs.  Pat puts Ben down to sleep, and I put the girls down.  It can be a bit of back and forth.  There is some yelling as I cheer Ben on for going potty while in a different room.  Sometimes Pat has to run in and hand me a burp cloth for the girls.  Ben just runs back and forth between rooms because, you know, two.  But it works for us.

We went from me trying to do everything for each kid, and bedtime routine stretching out for almost an hour, to a much more efficient system.  Each kid gets their needs met.  Each kid gets into bed at the proper time.  And with Pat and I working together, we get it all done in about 30 minutes, which means more couple time in the evening.  Could one person do the whole thing themselves? Yes.  And sometimes that has to happen.  But bedtime is a much less stressful time with both of us pitching in.

This is just one example of how important a dad can be.  I know our roles will change a bit as the kids get bigger.  We will be able to take turns with bedtime for the kids.  (I have the easy part now, I get to snuggle with babies while Pat deals with pees and poops)  As the kids get bigger we will need to rely on each other more and more.  As a pretty solid do-it-all-myself person this is a challenge for me.  Bedtime currently reminds me that I don't need to do it all myself.  I am fortunate to have a partner to work with.  I am fortunate that my kids have a great dad who loves them more than anything.

-Kim

Be sure to check out the rest of the ladies today, and our Pinterest page on fatherhood!


How To Help Your Spouse Succeed as a Father (in a non-nagging way)
Parenting Isn't Easy on a Relationship- The Real Truth
The Importance of Dad's Support with Babywise
5 ways to celebrate Dad

Four month update

The girls turned four months old on Saturday!  I thought I would update on what they have been up to a bit.

Shh, they're talking about us!

They had their four month check up recently, and they are growing hard!  They are both over 15 pounds now!!  Ali is a little bigger, at 15lbs 7oz.  Sammy is catching her at 15lbs, 3oz.  They are both around 24 inches tall.  So they are a little on the shorter size, but looking at their family tree that is no shocker. :)  They are both good eaters and gaining weight nicely, which makes me happy!

Ali and Sammy have had to deal with second child problems since, well, before birth.  It continues with these checkups.  I remember the week leading up to Ben's checkups I would be writing down lists of questions to ask.  I checked the "What to Expect in the First Year" book all the time.  I could tell you everything Ben was supposed to be able to do for his age.  The girls?  Well, I did remember to ask Pat if he had any questions the night before their appointment.  And no, we really didn't have any.  I'm choosing to think that is a good thing, as it meant we didn't notice anything wrong.

I did check out the book to see how the girls were doing compared to what it said.  And they are perfect with all the milestones they should be reaching!  They can hold their heads up well, and they are just getting better at it.  They can follow objects around, and they are always trying to check out what Ben is up to.  They laugh, and it is the most beautiful sound.  They reach for and grab objects.  They can roll over from their stomachs to their backs.  (They look like they are trying to get from tummy to back, but as a seasoned mom I hope they don't do that yet!  Nothing that makes them mobile please!)  They turn toward voices.  One thing the book mentions makes me laugh- babies at four months old may object when you try to take a toy away.  With Ben, I never really tried to take away a toy,  I mean, why would you do that?  Well the girls already yank toys away from each other.  And yes, they express their displeasure.  Loudly.

Every day it seems like they are getting better at grabbing things.  They seem like they are paying more and more attention to the world around them.  Their head control is getting better.  We brought the jumper out for Ben around this age, and I think we will bring it out for the girls pretty soon too.  They are getting very into their mobiles and toys, which is awesome because they can entertain themselves for a bit.  They aren't doing real independent playtime yet.  But they do have time where the two of them have toys and I'm not directly playing with them.  It is super important to me that my kids are able to entertain themselves.  Don't get me wrong, I play with my kids.  I play with them a lot.  But there are times I need to get other things done (you know, like laundry, dinner, helping Ben out).  I am really enjoying that the girls can amuse themselves for bits of time.

The girls love to smile and laugh.  One of their favorite things is when you say their names.  I don't remember that being the case with Ben.  Maybe because they are twins, or just second children, they like knowing you are talking to them specifically.  They are certainly chattier than Ben ever was.  They like to talk, and sometimes yell.  We went through a yelly period about a week ago.  I think they were hitting the four month sleep regression and a huge mental leap.  But things have settled down and they are happy little girls again.

The girls love to get out and go places, which is awesome for Ben and me.  They are starting to stay awake during playgroup, and seem to really enjoy the antics of all the kids.  They love visiting Meo and Omi at the office, and are getting into story time too!

Ben is a great big brother.  He still doesn't want to sit with or hold the girls, but that's okay.  He brings me burp cloths and throws away diapers.  He helps out by bringing the girls pacifiers up and down the stairs for me.  He has started to let them play with 'his' toys.  Really they are baby toys that Ben has outgrown, but thinks we brought back out for him.  He is very good at giving the girls toys he knows are theirs.  He is actually quite sweet with them, often trying to make them feel better by saying "it's okay, ladies."  One of his favorite things to do is help me wake them up.  He runs into the room, turns off their sound machine and yells, "Wake up, girls!"  And despite getting woken up by him yelling and tapping at them, they smile and giggle.  They adore their big brother.

Overall the girls are awesome.  I'll do posts on sleep and schedule soon.  We are busy around here.  Some days are non stop and I have no idea at the end of the day what took up all my time.  But really I can't complain.  My kids are happy and healthy.  The girls are doing everything they should be.  I am so grateful they are hitting all their milestones on time and don't seem to have any problems because they were only 36.5 weeks when they were born.  I was told that twins seem to mature faster in the womb due to the stress of having two in there, and it seems to be true.  They are right on target!  I don't know how I got so lucky, but I am thanking God every day for my beautiful family.

Rocking Ben's old jammies!

-Kim

Four months!

Sammy and Ali are four months old today!

Ali!

Sammy!

hugs

cuties!

I just adore these girls so much!  I'll post more about this month after their four month check up next week.  But rest assured, they are just the sweetest babies ever, just like Ben was!

-Kim

Cupcakes!

Lately Ben has been all about helping me in the kitchen.  Sometimes, yes, this is hard because I just want to get things done.  But mainly it is awesome!  I love cooking and baking and I am so happy he has started to take an interest in it too!

Ben is already a master at stirring.  For a little boy who usually is rough and tumble, he is actually pretty gentle at cooking!  He stirs nicely.  He listens when I tell him to keep the spoon in the bowl.  By far his favorite thing is to crack eggs.  Seriously, he is so gentle with them it is funny.  He barely taps them on the edge of the bowl.  Of course to compensate for that he occasionally crushes the egg with his fist when we tries to open them.  He'll get the hang of it though.  I have gotten pretty good at getting egg shells out of things, but if you get something made with eggs and Ben's help, well, you've been warned. ;)

I think cooking and baking are great ways to fit in little lessons about comparative size, counting, measurements, and a little basic math.  I try to get Ben to count out everything we use.  I know it's a bit early for him, but we talk about fractions.  Baking in itself is a chemistry lesson, learning how ingredients mix and change.  That will come later though.  Right now we are working on opposites like wet and dry, hot and cold.  And the best part is that we have fun while we do it!

This past week Ben came running up to me asking to bake a cake.  Fortunately I try to keep baking mixes in the pantry at all times.  (Yes, we could do it from scratch.  But a mix fits in with a two year old's attention span.)  After studying the back of the box Ben decided he wanted to make cupcakes.  So we did!  Ben helped every step of the way.  He was even good about backing away while I put them in the oven.  That evening we went to the grocery store and he got to pick out some frosting to put on them.  He picked out bright red, so he kind of looks scary when he eats the cupcakes, what with the blood red frosting smeared around his mouth.  But he was so happy and proud of himself for baking the cupcakes.

I hope this interest continues.  Not only is preparing food a practical life skill, it has so many lessons as I mentioned above.  And what parent doesn't love when their child shares their interest?  Time to start looking for more toddler friendly recipes to make!

 The girls got in on the fun, watching us an enjoying some 'hats' courtesy of big brother.

Ben was so proud of himself!

After dinner Ben finally got to eat one! Yummy!

And yes, you can see in the picture the big bowl of fruit he is ignoring.  I was as excited as he was to let him eat a cupcake, and I didn't notice he hadn't eaten his fruit yet.  Oops, parenting fail.  Oh well.  I'll try to remember next time. ;)

-Kim

Uncle Jared!

Uncle Jared was able to come visit for Ali and Sam's baptism!  It was his first time meeting the girls in person, so it was very special.  Jared doesn't have a ton of experience with babies, so he was bit nervous about holding them at first.  It is understandable, no one wants to drop a baby!  But he did a great job!  He even held them both at the same time.  

Ali, Sammy, and Ben are so lucky to have such a great uncle.  I love these pictures of the three and four of them together.

Panic! What do I do with two babies!

No!  Three kids at once!

Just kidding- awesome Uncle at work.

Thanks for coming to see us, Uncle Jared!  We love you and miss you!

-Kim

Daddy's field trip

At the end of every school year, Pat's school does a big field trip to a nearby park district attraction.  This year it was brought to our attention that while the school would be taking up most of the park, it was still technically open to the public.  You know what that means- we crashed Daddy's field trip!

It was actually really awesome that we decided to go, as Pat forgot his phone that day.  We pulled into the park just as the buses were getting in, perfect timing.  We got to meet up with Pat and head into the park!  It was so fun to see Pat's teacher friends and show off the girls.  Plus it was funny to see the look of confusion that crosses some kids' faces when they realize their teachers have lives and families outside of school.  I was happy to see Pat interacting with his students too, it's always fun to see Mr. Cartwright in action!

The park itself was awesome.  They have all sorts of fun things for the kids to do.  There was a carousel, pony rides, a train, a giant playground, a toddler zone, animals, and educational areas.  I would like to say we saw more of the educational areas (which included a blacksmith and one room school house), but Ben was not into that.  I think when he gets older we will force him to look at them a bit more.

We had a lot of fun checking out most of the attractions.  Everything was perfect for the elementary kids, but some things were a bit too big for a two year old.  Fortunately for me Ben had no interest in the pony rides.  He wanted to ride the carousel, and we were able to get him on that with Pat.  It scared Ben a bit, but he liked when I cheered for him from the side.  We avoided the train.  I was a little bummed to have to do that, but strollers were not allowed on it.  There was no way I could get both girls and Ben on the train to enjoy it.  Ben wanted to go into the playground, but it was huge and had lots of places where I couldn't see him.  Again, with just me that didn't work.  I felt so bad he couldn't play in it, but I couldn't leave the girls of course, and I was not comfortable not able to see Ben.  All this means that we will have to go back more this summer with an additional adult or two! (I'm talking to you, Meo and Omi!)

Despite not doing several things, we did still have a blast!  There was a toddler zone with cozy coupe cars to drive around.  This was the first time Ben could actually get in one and drive around.  His cousins have them, but he was too little to really enjoy them last time we visited.  We spent a good chunk of time playing in that area.  We looked at farm animals, and we had a picnic lunch.  We really just had fun walking around, as it was a perfect day out.  Sunny and in the low 70s.  Being the cool mom that I am, I splurged and got us a blue slushie to share as well.  Ben got a big kick out of our blue tongues after that.

Overall we had a great time, and for sure will be going back.  I think this is a place we will enjoy often as the kids grow!

These girls were awesome the whole trip.  Dozed off and on and enjoyed watching everything.  Three months old and already crashing field trips, we'll have to watch out as they get older! ;)

Sammy, ready to roll!

Ali, relaxing at the park

Ben was so excited to see Pat.  He chanted, "Daddy's field trip" the whole drive there.

It isn't too scary with Daddy there!

 Ben looked little compared to the kindergartners!  It was nice to see, compared to the girls he looks so big!

Checking out chickens

He might be a car guy, he loved this green coupe!  He'll have to talk cars with Uncle Jared. :)

Giant cow!

Of course we got our tasty treat.  Yummo and perfectly contained in a cup- no mess!

Treat!

 Ben adored crossing this bridge.  We must have done it a dozen times.  Whatever makes my boy happy.  The girls liked it too!

We had to head home before the field trip ended, but we had a blast.  I am so excited to go back and actually do everything with Pat, instead of just seeing him now and then.  All three kids passed out in the car on the way home, so you know it was fun.  What a perfect outing!

-Kim

BFBN: Dads: Doing things their awesome way- Guest Post

Today is a BFBN blog trade day!  I have Katrina from Mama's Organized Chaos blogging here today about letting Dads do their thing.  This is something I have to remember to be working on.  I spend the most time with the kids, so I tend to be the 'primary' parent.  Moms often are, especially when kids are less than a year old.  I am the one with the food, so the girls really need me right now.  Add to that a type A personality and I can often forget that different doesn't mean bad.  I wrote  how to go about backing off and giving dad a chance to take the lead a bit here.  Today Katrina does a great job of explaining why it is so important to let dads do their things.
-Kim

Here's the thing about dads. There are those that stand mostly on the sidelines, and there are those that jump in and parent wholeheartedly. Often, they end up getting criticized no matter which path they choose. Either they don't do enough, or the things they do aren't done "correctly". When this happens, a lot of dads end up backing off and defaulting to mama as the go to parent (and not doing enough). It is a viscous cycle! The thing is, though... dads don't do things incorrectly. They just do them differently than mama. And that's ok.

My husband is pretty hands on. Our daughter is almost 1.5 years old now. He often tells me that things came more natural for me with regards to parenting. Maybe, maybe not. The real reason that I seem to "know what I am doing", however, is that I do it 24-7. It is my job and my entire life! He goes to work and catches up on the whole parenting thing in the evenings.

As moms, we all know that things change on a daily basis (what works and what doesn't), and that we've had all day and all week to figure out the best way to do things. So, it is with good intentions that, when our husbands come home from work, we mention to them what "works". They are often glad to get the headlines so they can feel like they know what they are doing. The reality, however, is that they do know what they are doing. Sometimes we just need to let them parent and figure it out. 

Some things need to be consistent- the rules and boundaries. These things should be discussed as a couple so that both parents agree and are on the same page.

Other things can be done differently at different times. They way in which we bathe our children, get them dressed, what we do before nap time, how we play with a certain toy, the feeding process, the outfit selection, etc. All of these things and many, many others are what I'd refer to as the fluid parts of the day. If dad does them one way, and mama does them another- all will be ok in the world!

Dads need to feel a sense of ownership in order to feel that they also "know what they are doing". Things come natural to them as well, but often times they don't have as much time to figure things out before mama steps in. And, if you have an "expert" in the room...why not default to them? It's easy for dads to default to us and trust us. We married these men, however, because we know they are smart an capable. So, we need to let them problem solve and do things differently. Men are usually pretty good problem solvers!

My husband brought this up to me one evening as we were discussing this whole parenting thing. I was upset because, in the moment, I felt like he wasn't stepping up enough. Here's what happened: 

He was going to give our daughter a bath. He asked her to come several times, and she wasn't listening. I was staying in the other room letting him deal with the situation. I waited. Nothing new happened. Then she came over to mama, so I got involved. I told her to go to daddy to take her bath. Since she'd already been asked several times, when she didn't listen I simply picked her up, brought her in the bathroom, got her undressed and put her in the bath. I was upset, because now I was doing the bath and I felt like my husband hadn't stepped up.

He later explained to me that he really was going to come get her. He was giving her a chance to come back. That chance was just longer than what I would have allowed. It was the same tactic that I would have used. I just wouldn't have (and didn't) let it go on as long. The reality is that we use the same parenting styles (which is an important part of being consistent). It would have been alright, in that situation, for my husband to wait a little bit longer before coming to get her. I didn't recognize this in the moment, however.

He later read an article about how dads to things differently, but not incorrectly. He sent me the article to read. Here is the link in case you are also interested to read it! All I could think of was that he is an amazing dad. He is hands on. He does step up. He tries and he does SO well! I feel like I am pretty hands off when he's dealing with things. I don't feel like I am the mom that tells dad how to do things. Unfortunately, I do it enough that he notices it and it bothers him at times. I was so glad that he told me, because I never want to make him feel like he is doing things wrong. 

So, it is with a conscious effort that I now take a backseat on purpose at times. I want him to see that I trust him. I want him to see how amazing he is with our daughter. I want him to feel like he knows what he is doing- because he does. He just doesn't know the exact way I would do it! No one would (but me)! It's a pretty tall order to expect someone to do things just like you do them. So, even though I thought I was good at this, I was told (and also realized) that I am not as good as I thought or want to be! Most of us mamas can probably improve in this area and let the reigns go a bit. Not to mention we could probably learn a thing or two from our amazing husbands as well!

Same old

I've been catching up on work the past couple of weeks.  That meant several days at home while I was busy on the computer.  Ben and the girls didn't mind.  Ben for sure.  It was the same old shenanigans going on around here.

Ben had fun with a box...

Surprise!

 ...and helped me work.

The girls, well, I think they were plotting their world takeover or something. ;)

I have the best little coworkers.

-Kim

Funny faces

Things have been super busy around here.  But we still had some time for some funny faces!  I love these kids!

Future soccer player, practicing those headers, kinda. ;)

Silly girls

Can you tell who is who?

-Kim


(If you guessed Sammy on left and Ali on right, you're correct!  My sweet girls.)