Shoot, you forgot Valentine's Day! A 4 step guide to faking it through the day.

Oh no.  It's Valentine's Day.  Somehow it snuck up on you.  If you are in the season of babies and toddlers this is completely possible.  (Heck, any busy season can make it possible!) I know, I know.  The ads were everywhere, the stores had sales, there were all the jewelry commercials.  But you still thought you had more time.  Hey, it happens.  You can still salvage this, Mama.

Here is your game plan:

1)Breakfast:  Don't worry about making a fancy heart shaped quiche or even heart pancakes.  No one has time for that.  Take some cheerios, raisins, or baby puffs and make a heart shape around whatever you normally serve your little one for breakfast.  Use some little nibble to make a heart.  Next, check out your baking supplies.  You don't need much.  Do you have any mini marshmallows?  Any chocolate chips?  Animal crackers?  Any little treat you save for special occasions and is not something you serve frequently?  Pull it out.  Put it next to the heart on the breakfast plate.  If you have a little one it doesn't matter what the treat is, they will just be thrilled to have a special treat at breakfast.  If you want to go the extra mile and have some red food coloring, go ahead and add a drop to the milk.  

Have older kids and, oh yeah, that husband?  Grab the ads from the newspaper.  Cut out a heart.  All you have to do is fold the page in half to make it symmetrical.  Use the heart as a placemat.  Bonus- it will be easy to clean up.  You know what, give them a little treat too.  Everyone likes to start the day with an unexpected surprise.

2)Daytime:  Do you stay home with your kids?  It's time for arts and crafts!  Grab anything you have and make Valentine's for the whole family.  Bonus- you can quick make your husband one now too.  Add a list of three reasons you love him and you are good to go.  

At work?  Kids at school?  Or busy for other reasons?  Send an ecard to your older kids.  Fold a piece of paper in half, google Valentine's Day puns, and make a basic card for the little kids.  They will love it because it came from you.  Want to do something fun for your husband?  Send him an evite for some one on one time with you.  Be as risque as you two like.  Bonus to this one- you can plan it for a future day and take some pressure off that night.  (Especially helpful when Valentine's Day is on a weeknight.)

3)Dinner:  You might feel the pressure to have come up with an awesome themed out dinner.  Don't.  Lots of pizza places offer heart shaped pizzas on Valentine's Day.  Kids love pizza, so they will be happy.  You are happy because you don't have to cook.  Take that time normally spent cooking and cut out some more heart shaped placemats from construction paper or newspaper.  Grab a notepad and write out something you love about each member of your family on separate pages to put by their plates.  Want to get the family more involved?  Have them add to each others' lists.  Anything at all you love about each other.  Read them out loud over dinner.

No need for a fancy dessert after dinner.  For little ones a repeat of the breakfast treat will suffice.  Have chocolate syrup?  Make some chocolate milk.  Want to put in some extra effort?  Run out and grab ice cream for everyone.  (Give yourself a Valentine by offering to pick it up and getting some alone time in the car.) 

4)After the kids are in bed:  Almost done, just one last person to romance.  Pull out an old picture of you and your partner, preferably one from before you had kids.  Talk about your dating days, reminisce about your wedding, or discuss your dream vacation plans for some day in the future.  The exact topic isn't important, just talk about the two of you as a couple.  Life is busy.  The key is just connecting with that person you are sharing this crazy life with.

You did it, you made it through Valentine's Day!  No, it was not pinterest perfect.  That's okay.  Did you tell everyone in your family you loved them today?  Did you try to connect with your partner for a few minutes?  Then you did a great job.  Now go leave yourself a note to buy chocolate on sale tomorrow.  That's too important to forget.

-Kim

Parenting: just about done

Ben, like all toddlers, seems to be growing by leaps and bounds. Every day he has new words and new skills.  I swear pants that fit him last week don't fit anymore.  He is definitely growing up fast.  A few recent developments have led me to think Pat and I are almost done parenting this kid though.  Which is good, we have two more on the way.  Here is why I think that.

One:  A couple of weeks ago we were hanging out in the playroom at church.  Ben took a piece of pizza, put it on a plate, and popped it in the microwave.  True, it was plastic pizza and not a real microwave.  But still, he has the basic idea of how to make food for himself.

Two:  He knows how to go up to Omi and ask for quarters.  Surprisingly I did not teach Ben this skill.  It appears to be some sort of instinct.  Yes he is only asking for quarters now, but that can segue into larger amounts with no problem.

So overall, Ben has the main idea of how to feed himself, and can ask his grandfather for money.  Yep, our job is almost done. :)

I suppose he still needs me to drive him around though.  Eh, we'll keep him around a little longer.  Hopefully he can teach his sisters his awesome life skills.

-Kim

Toddler stand off

Dear Toddler,

We appear to be in a standoff.  Things might get worse before they get better.  They have already escalated quickly.  I understand.  You're angry.  You're a little scared.  You aren't sure how this is all going to play out.  Let me help you.  I know how this is going down.  

First of all let me tell you that we want the same thing.  What do you want?  You want your sock back on, and you want your pants on.  I really do want the same thing.  I know in your mind this is all my fault.  You didn't ask to have your diaper changed. I did that to you.  The only way to defend yourself was obviously to take off your sock and throw it at me.  Here's the thing- that doesn't scare me.  True, I have a known hatred and disgust for used socks.  That does not include yours though.  I clean your poop every day.  I have caught your vomit in my bare hands.  The fact is very little coming from you can disgust me enough to not deal with it.  And your socks are still tiny and cute.  No one is scared of them.

The thing is, you've over played your hand.  You keep showing me your bare foot and crying.  You point to your naked legs and complain.  I have what you want- the sock and the pants.  Yet you refuse to come near me.  You have nothing to negotiate with.  I am sitting in front of the only exit to the room.  All your toys are outside this room. Your sippy, your snacks, your freedom.  All of this lies through me.  

I am no longer going to negotiate with you.  I know how this all turns out.  You want me to chase you down and make this a game.  What you failed to take into account is that I am seven months pregnant with twins and already sitting down.  I can wait you out, no problem.  I suggest you look at the facts, accept that you have lost this battle, and let me put your sock and pants on you.  No one needs to end up in time out over this.  I don't want that, you don't want that.  Let me help you.  Give up this losing fight and we can all go about our day.

Your move, Toddler.

Love,

Negotiator Mommy

I lost: A Halloween Story

I really enjoy Halloween.  I don't go nuts and decorate a ton or anything, but I really enjoy getting a chance to put on a costume and have a day of fun.  And having a little kid to dress up?  That is awesome.  I know the time period when I can dictate his costume is extremely short, so I want to take advantage while I still can.

Ben's first Halloween we kept it simple.  Ben was only two months old, and we didn't want to spend a ton of money.  (That is a theme in our Halloween choices.)  We got a sweet little sleeper with a skeleton on it.  He was able to use it as jammies as well.  Ben was comfortable and super cute.  Perfect.

 For Ben's second Halloween, I got a little more into it. I no longer had a newborn, so I was able to put a little more thought into it.  Ben was super into, well, destroying things at this point.  One of his favorite games was to have Pat build towers just so he could knock them down.  He was a perfect little Wreck-It Ralph.  We were able to easily put together costumes for Pat and myself as Fix-It Felix and Vanellope respectively.  We weren't perfect matches, but I think it came together pretty well.  Ben was able to re wear all his items.  And I only had to buy the tights and the hat for Pat and myself.  Pretty good win there.  I adored having a family costume.  It was so fun and I at least thought we looked super cute.

Fast forward to this year.  I'll admit I didn't put as much time into costumes this year.  I did want to try to put together a family theme, but I hate spending a ton of money on costumes.  I usually try to build off an idea where we can use stuff we already have.  Well with my ever expanding belly, I have a limited selection of what fits.  Pat had a great idea to have Ben be Batman, and we could be other characters.  Ben has several Batman shirts, and we recently got him a cape and mask to dress up as Batman.  Done.  I was easy.  I could just be a go-to for women- Catwoman. I already had cat ears and could reasonably get away with just wearing black.  Score for an easy costume while pregnant.  Pat was harder.  There are so many people Pat could be.  There's the Joker, the Riddler, Penguin, Scarecrow.  And that is just a few.  (And yes, I know those are the ones from the movies.  That is where all my Batman knowledge comes from.:) )  The only problem with a lot of them is sadly Pat doesn't have to wardrobe of a crazed villain.  Most of the time I am happy about that, but this was not one of them.  We decided to aim for the Riddler, as we thought we could pull that off the best.  I was able to get Pat a green shirt, and we were going to put question marks all over it.  It wasn't perfect by any means, but it would get the job done.

We just didn't think about one thing- the toddler.  Ben's cape came.  It looked so good.  He has black clothes we could dress him in, and he would look awesome.  The mask came with the cape.  It would have looked great, but I wasn't counting on him wearing it.  Our little threesome would be pretty cute.  We'd take Ben to a couple of neighbors to show him off a bit, get some cute pictures, and call it good.  That is not happening.  Why?  The toddler refuses to wear the cape.  Flat out, doesn't want it on, cries if you try, won't wear it.  No one else can wear it either.  Ben doesn't like that.  This includes stuffed animals.  

As he won't wear the cape, I didn't dress Ben in the rest of his outfit.  The all black doesn't do much without the Batman accessories.  He did agree to wear his t-shirt that says I'm Batman.

I'm choosing to believe he is taking a Jim Halpert from the Office approach- less is more on Halloween.  At least next year I'll have the girls to dress up, but they will probably reject my ideas soon enough.  Sigh, I fully admit I lost.  The toddler won the battle of the Halloween Costumes.

I win!

-Kim

Boxes

We tend to save boxes for awhile in our house.  Sometimes we set them aside and forget about them, and sometimes I think the box will be a good one to ship things to others.  More often than not, it is because of this:

Put out a box, catch a cat.  It makes her so happy the boxes usually end up sitting out until I just can't take it anymore and finally recycle them.  Of course by then a new one will take its place.

We always have a ton of boxes at the office.  We get deliveries reasonably often.  Ben likes stacking the boxes, and putting things in them.  Much like at home we tend to just hold on to them until someone can't take it anymore.  A few hang out for a while as toy boxes.  The other day I looked over and found this:

With friends, in the box

What?  It's comfy.

Once again Ben proves that toddlers and cats aren't all that different.  I think these boxes will stick around a little longer. :)

-Kim

Meanest mom ever... again

Yep, world's meanest mom, back in action.  My crime this time?  Thinking that since it is 80 degrees outside, Ben should wear shorts.  Apparently, I was very wrong about this.  It is pretty funny, seeing as this kid rebelled against the wearing of pants when the temperatures dropped this past fall.  Let's not even get started with going sans socks.  Again, this is the kid who cried, and cried hard, when we had to put socks on him in the fall.  Ben used to love going without pants and socks.  In fact nothing made him happier.  Now, it's pants and socks and nothing less will do.

I'm sure he'll come around in time.  I mean, he doesn't cry over wearing socks anymore.  If it gets too hot out, he is going to want shorts.  I'm sure he'll get used to the idea.  Until then, I'll save these pictures to embarrass him with when he's older. ;)

So sad...

Why is this happening?

All I want is my pants

Pants!  I win!

My silly little dude.

Sigh, kids are confusing.  But I love him!!

 -Kim

Pizza!

Ben is growing up way too fast.  I think the kid is ready for college sometimes.

This morning, I prepared a healthy breakfast for Ben.  I made him some scrambled eggs with a touch of cheese.  I also offered him cheerios, and some peaches.  These are all foods he enjoys.  All tasty and good for you.  Ben wasn't super into it.  He has been a little picky about food lately.  I think his canine teeth are coming in, and I know those are supposed to really hurt.  So it makes sense that he might be picky about what he eats.  Oh, and he is a toddler, so who the heck knows why he does anything these days. ;)  Most of the time, we offer what we are serving for that meal, and Ben can eat it or not.  I still think he is too young to connect not eating with being hungry until the next meal, so I try to always offer something he currently likes.  Often this is fruit or cheerios if we get desperate.  I was a little surprised when the peaches and cheerios weren't doing anything for him this morning.  But what can you do?  I really do believe as parents all we can do is offer healthy food and let the child decide how much he eats.  

Ben was pretty much refusing breakfast, and I was just about ready to call it a meal.  Pat was still asleep, but I was ready for some breakfast myself.  We had leftover pizza from last night so I grabbed a slice and sat down with Ben.  He reached for my pizza.  He often reaches for whatever we are eating.  Usually he examines it, takes a bite or two and then hands it back.  Sometimes he chows down, like when he stole my sandwich.  This was one of those situations.  Ben took down the whole piece of cold pizza.  

Going to town on the pizza

Delicious!

I suppose I should be really questioning the parenting decision to let him eat cold pizza for breakfast.  But instead I'm going to use this as a teaching moment about moderation.  I'm also going to choose to be proud of him for how advanced he is.  I swear he is eating breakfast at a college student level. ;)

-Kim

Mom Wins

As much as I try to be a good mom, there are still moments where I miss something.  Moments of 'Mom Wins,' as my friends and I like to sarcastically call them.  This weekend I had such a moment.

I was making dinner this weekend, and while I was doing that I put together our lunches for the next day.  A piece of bread had a little spot of mold on it, so I tossed it into the garbage.  While I was doing all this, Ben was playing in the kitchen along with me.  I finished the lunches and went to set the table.  I was at the table for about 10 seconds before returning to the kitchen.  What do I find?  Yup, Ben eating the piece of bread from the garbage.

Luckily I found all the moldy parts, and the bread hadn't been touching anything gross or super unhealthy.  I had to laugh though, because this is the same type of bread that Ben had refused to eat earlier (sans mold of course), and refused to eat again today.  But place it in the garbage can? Delicious.

I had to laugh at my little scavenger, then I made a mental note to keep the garbage out of reach.  Ben likes to keep me on my toes.  I am predicting more 'Mom Wins' to come throughout his toddler years.

-Kim

Day with Daddy!

This Sunday was a busy day that kept me out of the house from about 7:30am til 6pm.  The first activity was church, which Pat and Ben also attended.  But after that I was off and they were on their own.  I think this was the first full day with Pat alone on Daddy duty!  It isn't that he tries to avoid taking care of Ben, but we both love Ben and spending time with him.  And really, things just work out that Ben is usually with just me or both Pat and I.

My day was good.  I had the typical strange sensation of missing something.  I enjoyed the odd lightness of just carrying around my purse.  But at the end of the day I was so excited to get home and see my boys.  They were eating dinner when I got home, and Ben had the biggest smile on his face. The one good part of having to be apart from him is that smile when I get home.

I sat down with them, got all ready and asked, "How was it?"  Pat's answer?  "Good."  Yep, hours apart and that is the summary.  Good.  I mean, that is way better than "bad" or "worst day ever" or "Thank goodness you are finally home."  But still, good?  Next time I'm going to make Pat take notes.  ;)

-Kim

World's Meanest Mom

Ben is charging full steam ahead into the wonderful world of being a toddler.  Along with this comes a lot of frustrations, both on my part and his.  I understand Ben is trying hard to learn about the world and his place in it.  He doesn't know how most things work, and he has no idea what dangers can lurk, well, everywhere.  I am responsible for pointing out these dangers to him, or at least keeping him away from them.   It is my job to keep him safe and start him out on the road to healthy living.

Well, Ben doesn't always like this.  I am quite sure he often thinks I am the world's meanest mom who won't let him have any fun.  I thought I was pretty reasonable with my expectations for Ben, but his reactions to some situations suggest otherwise.

Here are a few ways I was currently the world's meanest mom today:
1) I put socks on Ben.
2) I wouldn't let Ben pull hair out of the kitty.
3) I wouldn't let Ben lay on the kitty. (The kitty is about 9 pounds, Ben is about 24 pounds.)
4) I wouldn't let Ben eat kibble.
5) I didn't get dinner ready fast enough.
6) Once dinner was ready I made Ben sit down to eat it.
7) I wouldn't let  him survive on only strawberries and bread.
8) We ran out of strawberries. (A nicer mom would have planned ahead better.)
9) I wouldn't let him play with the outlet covers.
10) I wouldn't let him chew on or play with electric cords.

As you can see, I am obviously being unreasonable.  Sadly for Ben, I just don't think I can change my ways.  Lucky for me, Ben is a sweetie and I have so much fun with him.  Well, when I'm not being the world's meanest mom that is. :)

-Kim

Swim Prep: Wife vs. Husband

Warning: This post is meant to be humorous in nature.  I am not trying to attack anyone.  This is, however, based on actual events.

Getting a baby ready for parent and me swim classes can take a little time and preparation.  It isn't as easy as just tossing the kid in the car and driving to the pool.  There are nap times and meal times to take into account.  You have to worry about towels, swim diapers, sunscreen, swim shirts, plastic pants, and so many other things.  Unless, of course, you're a husband.

Here is how Pat and I get ready for Ben's swim lessons.

Swim prep: Wife's version.

Sunday night: Plan out the week.  Note that there are swim lessons on Saturday, and we need to be prepared.  Try not to schedule anything else during or around that time.  Ask Husband if he would like to swim with baby on Saturday.  Husband isn't sure.  Explain that you have plans for shortly after swim lesson.  If you are swimming it will require extra get ready time after lesson.  If Husband is swimming you need to wake up earlier to get ready.  This decision impacts your entire day.  Tell Husband he needs to decide by Wednesday.

Wednesday:  Do some laundry.  Be sure towel, swim suit, and swim shirt are all washed.  Make sure swim shirt and swim trunks air dry.  Towel can be put in drier.  Hand wash plastic pants because you can't remember if you washed them after the last swim lesson.  Wonder again why the kids need a swim diaper, plastic pants, and a bathing suit.  Sheesh, that's a lot of items.  Ask Husband if he plans to swim with baby on Saturday.  Husband isn't sure.  Explain again that you need to know in order to plan your day.  Your time table effects other people's timetables.  Tell Husband he needs to decide by Thursday.

Thursday: Meal plan and make grocery list for the week.  Be sure to include any snacks needed for pre- and post- swim lesson.  No one likes the person who forgot snacks.  No one likes the screaming baby who just needs a couple of raisins because lunch is late.  Ask Husband if he plans to swim with baby on Saturday.  Explain that you need to know in order to plan your day.  Husband isn't sure.  Tell Husband he needs to decide by Friday night, latest.

Friday:  Plan out the timing for Saturday's swim lesson.  Wake up is earlier, lunch time is later, two naps need to be fit in.  Plus other Saturday duties wife needs to perform.  Go over schedule with Husband while he watches tv.  Go over schedule again when Husband looks up at the end and says, "What?"  Write schedule out after Husband looks confused.  Restrain self from reminding Husband we did this last week, it's the same as last week.  Ask Husband if he plans to swim with baby tomorrow.  Husband isn't sure.  Demand an answer.  Explain the getting ready situation again, and that you need an answer in order to plan your day accordingly. Husband says no to swimming.  Make Baby's breakfast for morning.  Make Baby's lunch for tomorrow.

Saturday:  Here we go:
6 am:  Wake up. Shower before baby wakes.  Husband isn't swimming.  You are, so don't wash hair.  Get dressed and do make up.
6:30am: Get Baby up.  Half an hour early.  Change diaper.  Note Baby's sheets are suspiciously damp.  Change sheets.
6:40 am: Play with Baby so he doesn't think it is breakfast time.  Can't have an early breakfast followed by a late lunch.
7 am: Nurse Baby
7:15 am: Give Baby breakfast while pumping.  Oatmeal, eggs, and fruit.  Try to explain to Baby why he can't eat just strawberries.  Give up and just put strawberries away.
7:30 am:  Hose oatmeal off Baby in the sink.  Let Baby play while wiping oatmeal off high chair and floor.
7:35 am:  Get Baby's swim suit, swim shirt, and plastic pants out of his closet.  Grab extra swim and regular diapers.
7:40 am: Stop Baby from eating cat's kibble.
7:50 am: Husband wakes up, gets himself some breakfast and kibble.
8:00 am: Review schedule with Husband.
8:03 am: Repeat.
8:05 am: Just toss written out schedule in front of husband.
8:10 am: Grab cat for vet appointment.  (Or whatever Saturday morning chore needs to be done.)
8:15 am:  Change Baby's diaper.  Remind Husband that nap time is in 15 minutes.  Out the door with cat.
9:30 am:  Back from vet, release angry kitty to go hide.  Notice Husband is finally in the shower.  Baby is sleeping.  Quick clean kitchen, do some cooking prep, find cat and give her a treat, get swim bag ready to go.  Chug some coffee.
9:50 am: Husband is checking email and Facebook.  Tell Husband you are going to change into swimsuit and get up Baby.  Husband looks up and says, "You know, I think I will swim today."  Try not to give murderous look to Husband, who couldn't have decided that a week ago, three days ago, or yesterday when asked if he wanted to swim or not?!
9:55 am: Baby is up.  Get him and have him play while getting self ready.
10-10:10 am: Change diaper.  Put sunscreen on Baby.  Keep Baby from licking sunscreen off his hand.   Put sunscreen on self, as Baby has already splattered it everywhere.  Put swim shirt on Baby.  Put swim suit in bag with swim diapers and plastic pants to be put on at pool.  Explain to Husband again how swim diapers work.  No, we cannot put it on here at home.  Double check swim bag. Triple check emergency raisins.  Grab extra towel for Husband.  Get Baby into car seat.  Grab diaper bag and swim bag.  Grab phone, house keys, car keys, and camera.
10:15 am:  Get everyone out of house and to the car for swim lesson,

Half way to pool:  Husband asks, "Did we remember to bring towels?"  Put head in hands.

Swim prep: Husband's version

Sunday Night: Wife says something about swim lessons.  That's a week away.  Don't care.

Wednesday:  Wife says something about swim lessons.  That's a few days away.  Don't care.

Thursday:  Watch Wife make meal plan and grocery list.  Suggest buying chips.  Wife says something about swim lessons.  That's in two days.  Don't care.

Friday:  Wife waves a paper with writing on it at me.  Ignore.  Wife says something about swim lessons.  That's tomorrow.  Don't care.  Wife insists on knowing whether or not Husband is swimming.  Eh, decide no.

Saturday:
7:50 am:  Wake up, way too early for a Saturday.  Grab some breakfast.
8:00 am:  Wife talking. "What?"
8:03 am:  Wife talking again. "What?"
8:05 am: Wife tosses paper down. "What was that all about?"
8:15 am: Wife goes somewhere with cat.  Build mega block tower with Baby.  Mega blocks are great.  Baby is great.
8:30 am:  Baby to nap.  Sorry kid, piece of paper Wife left says nap.  Check diaper, still good.  Score
8:35 am: Play on computer.  Check ESPN.  Do whatever husbands do.  (Note: Wife gone at this time, not sure what actually takes place.)
9:25 am: Decide to shower up.
9:50 am: Check email and Facebook.  Wife announces she is going to change.  You know, swimming with Baby would be fun. Good bonding.  Tell Wife, "I think I will swim today."  Wonder why Wife looks so angry.
9:55 am: Change into swim suit.  Put sunscreen on self.  Get flip flops.  Ask Wife why we don't put swim diaper and swim suit on here at home.  Lose interest in her answer.
10:10 am: Grab wallet, keys, and phone.
10:15 am: Leave for pool.

Halfway to pool as Wife, "Did we remember to grab towels?" Why does she look so defeated?



At least in both versions the whole family had a great time at the swim lessons.  And yes, all of us swam together in the lesson.

Our little water bug!

-Kim