November 2016 Book List

November books!  This month I have one kind of mystery, one meaty good one, and two fun feel-good books for you to check out! (This post contains affiliate links. All opinions are my own.)



First Frost by Sarah Addison Allen


First Frost was a book about the women in a family.  It focused mainly on two sisters and one of their teenage daughters.  Each woman has her own issue she is grappling with, one wants a child and the other is unsure about her new business, and a gentleman comes into town trying to shake up the sisters a bit.  They are able to work through their issues, which of course would have been easier if they had turned to each other sooner.  The book felt comfortable, and the author really uses good sensory description that made me feel like I was wrapped up in a wonderful crisp fall day.  This was hard to do because it had not been very cool around here while I was reading it!  This is actually a sequel to one of Allen's earlier books, but I didn't realize it when I picked it up.  I feel like it stood up on its own just fine.  I love books like that, where you can read a book out of order and it is still a good story.  Eventually I will find the first book and read that and it will feel like a prequel.  Overall I would recommend it.  It isn't earth shaking or anything, but it is nice to read about normal people who really have just regular problems.  It was a comforting book I liked turning to in a free moment.

Serena by Ron Rash


I read this book because I had seen previews for the movie.  I like the stars (Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper), so I wanted to read the book.  I did watch the movie after and have to say don't even bother.  I read the book and the movie didn't make total sense to me.  The book is so much better.  Serena is an interesting character.  It is 1929 and she marries a lumber tycoon and moves with him to the mountains to help oversee the business.  Right away Serena establishes herself as not being like most 'well bred' women of the day.  Her new husband fathered a child before they met, and that girl's father confronts him when he comes back with Serena.  A knife fight ensues and Serena's husband ends up killing him.  Serena is very cold about the whole thing, which sets the stage for how she is the entire book.  She is a tough woman.  She handles the rough timber life and men, leaving them respectful of her even if they don't really like her.  Eventually Serena and her husband try to have a child, but she ends up losing it.  Even though she was determined and extremely focused on her goals, she is even more so after the death of her child.  She resents the woman who had a child with her husband and eventually goes after them.  We get to see the perspective of this young mother as she tries to keep her child safe, offering a much less cold blooded perspective to compare to.  Overall Serena is ruthless and ambitious and I loved reading how far she would go for her goals.  She does some questionable things, but they line up with her character so well you just accept them as par for the course.  I admit in the beginning of the novel I respected how strong and clear she was in her aims, but her lack of humanity shows to be too much at the end.  The book is great, skip the movie.



Wedding Girl by Stacey Ballis


I loved this book.  It was so fun!  The main character starts the book by blowing way too much money on a picture perfect wedding the groom doesn't even show up for.  It of course rocks her world.  She ends up moving in with her grandmother and working at a local bakery.  The book is set in Chicago, which I always love.  It is one of those great books full of food.  The main character is a world class pastry chef, so food and baking are their own character.  I love books with lots of food and recipe descriptions (the book even has recipes in the back!).  While I admit I didn't have a ton of sympathy for the debt portion of her story (her own fault for knowingly overspending on the wedding), I liked seeing her work through her feelings and find her footing in her career again.  Oh, and there is a love story in there as well.  It was just like a good pastry- tasty and fun to read.

Intrusion by Mary McCluskey


In this book Kat and her husband have recently lost their seventeen year old son.  Kat is not taking it well (understandable).  Her husband throws himself into work where he takes on a new client that happens to be an old school friend of Kat, Sarah.  Kat and Sarah were good friends, but had a huge falling out due basically to Sarah sleeping with Kat's boyfriend.  Kat is willing to let her back into her life all these years later, and Sarah seems to be nice enough.  Without giving away too much, Sarah seems to have a hidden vendetta.  Overall I enjoyed the book well enough.  I could understand Kat's grieving and feeling lost.  It was clear that Sarah was going to be a problem, but I felt like her reasoning could have used a bit more fleshing out.  Or maybe it was enough and Sarah was just a bit petty.  Either way it was a fun book to read.  The ending felt a bit rushed, and honestly it isn't as good as Gone Girl, which a review on the cover likened it to.  I would say it is more of a day or two read, but not really something that will stick with you for long.

I've been reading a lot of just fun books for the past few months, easy things to get through the transition times.  Anyone have any suggestions for something a bit deeper for a good read?  I like pretty much all genres.  Thanks!

-Kim

Ten month update and schedule

The girls are ten months old!  We are closing in fast on the big one.  I can't believe so much time has gone by so quickly!  The girls are growing hard.  They are busy and in to everything.  They are little sweeties and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.

Ali and Sammy still aren't crawling on their hands and knees, but they are so good with their army crawling I don't think they care.  They each have their strengths with it.  Ali is our long distance girl.  She is determined and focused.  You have to watch her because she will wait for her moment.  In a total mom fail moment, I have to admit I lost her once this month.  I thought she was playing with Sammy in the living room and I found her playing in her bedroom.  Fortunately our house is pretty safe.  But now I know for sure to keep the hallway gated off.  Sammy is our sprinter.  She is seriously fast!!  Luckily for me she is the one more content to hang out.  But when she thinks she has an opening she is off!  Her favorite place to go is into the kitchen, so she is hard to miss.  I have been employing the gates almost all the time now.  I know it is a little frustrating for Ben to have to ask to get around them, but I need to be able to keep everyone safe!

The girls are good eaters.  Sadly they are getting a little picky already.  I suppose I should be proud of them- they are totally eating at a preschool level. ;)  They are obsessed with raisins and cheerios already.  This comes in handy when we are out and about.  I like having an easy food to take with us places.  I know it isn't necessarily the healthiest meal, but it by far could be worse.  They love bananas, guaca-hummus, and almost all breakfast foods.  They enjoy peanut butter toast.  They are starting to want bigger pieces of food to eat.  I do have to be careful about this, I don't want them to choke.  But if it is a food I think they can handle I let them.  They enjoy drinking water out of their cups and like to try to hold them by themselves.  They look so proud of themselves when they do!  They enjoy almost anything I make in the slow cooker, and they like the veggies out of soup.  Otherwise they are already turning on vegetables, which bums me out.  But they do enjoy smoothies and pouches already.  Oh my, do they enjoy them.  If I get one out for Ben I'd better have one for the girls too, or I hear about it!  I aim for the kids to eat actual vegetables and know they are eating them, but I don't want the table to be a battleground if I can help it.  So I am fully into hiding veggies anywhere I can.  If the girls eat their pouches, I am happy.  It is interesting how different babies can be.  Ben spent his first few years on a self imposed Atkins diet.  He barely liked any carbs!  Both Ali and Sammy already like some breads and crackers.  Even between the girls they have different preferences.  At Thanksgiving Ali was all about the mashed potatoes, while Sammy was digging the turkey.  I love seeing their differences come out!

Sleep is still going pretty well.  Overall I think I can't complain.  They do have the occasional bad nights and bad naps.  They do know the routine though and go to naps and bed happily and willingly.  I think it is normal to have a less than stellar nap every once in a while.  Ali seems to sometimes have a little fear of missing out.  She goes to sleep, but if she wakes at night she seems to want to get up.  She usually goes back to sleep though.  The big issue with sleeping this month was teething.

Teething.  Oh teething, how I hate you.  These poor girls were cutting the front four top teeth all at the same time this month.  They were so uncomfortable.  Understandable it messed with their sleep a little.  It appeared to mess with their eating a little too.  Ali was less in to solids for a bit, and when she did eat them she liked the softer food.  Sammy was the opposite- she didn't want to nurse a lot and wanted more solids.  So again, interesting to see the differences between them.  I am happy that these are my second kids and that they are twins with the nursing.  Sammy had a couple days where she really didn't nurse much at all.  I offered at all the normal times, but she only suckled for a few moments then wanted off.  I remember Ben going through this, so I knew it was normal.  I wasn't worried if she didn't nurse a ton for a day or too.  I was happy Ali wanted to nurse more, so I just made sure to alternate sides that she was on to keep supply up.  Sure enough, Sammy was back to normal in about a day.  The teething meant we spent several days just cuddling and trying to keep the girls happy.  Those were some loooong days, and they were days when having twins was just hard.  When your baby is upset and hurting you just want to hold them, and that is hard to do with two little ones needing to be held and loved on.  But we made it through.  Once teething took a break my little sunshines were back to their happy selves.

This month the girls celebrated their first Halloween!  They weren't super in to their costumes, but they had a ton of fun at all the Halloween activities we went to.  We hit up several story hours at the library.  I like going to those because the girls seem to like the stories too!  It is still easier to keep them in their stroller at that type of event, but they are actively watching the leader and paying attention to what the other kids are doing. I like to think they are getting something out of it.  This month they were great helpers getting some early holiday shopping done.  They enjoy being out and about, even when they were teething.  It is getting cooler here (finally) so the fresh air makes them happy.  The girls got to participate in their first election.  That was a day, but they were there with me to vote!  They finally had their nine month check up, on the day they turned ten months but what can you do.  I hate that but with the move it was the best we could do.  They are healthy and growing strong!!  Sammy is about 3 ounces bigger right now.  It is interesting how they keep switching leads in that.  It is really interesting to watch these identical twins grow.  They have such different personalities, but they physically have so many similarities.  I know, duh, that should be obvious.  But seeing it actually play out right in front of you is fascinating.

Sammy is still our shier girl.  She is fully at ease with people she knows, but she is slow to warm up to strangers.  She took a little time to warm up to Gramma and Grampa at the start of their Thanksgiving visit.  Overall I can tell she is our little introvert of the two.  She is more often content to hang out and play with toys on her own.  She is super fast as I said, but she doesn't take advantage of it too often.  She likes to snuggle up and observe the action.  She's a thinker, and waits for her opening when she wants something.  Currently she appears to be going for the kibble.  She can really turn on the speed when she sees me coming to stop her!  Ali is still our outgoing baby.  She likes to get right into the action.  She will come and find me rather than play alone for too long.  She is quick to voice her feelings.  This isn't all bad, she has the best belly laughs and she doesn't hold them back.  She is determined.  If she wants something she keeps going after it until she gets it.  She is independent, she will go and seek something out, like going to her room to play.  Both girls are thinkers.  They are going to give me a run for my money as they grow.  They already know when they are going for something they shouldn't.  They stop and look at me when I say no, but often go for it anyway, smiling and giggling the whole time.  They love to get into their brother's room and play with his toys.  Of course they like to steal toys from each other.  And no, it doesn't matter if we have two of something, they want what their sister has.  I try to be as fair as possible with that, but sometimes they have to just work it out themselves.  They love to giggle together, which is the sweetest thing to see ever.

There schedule is still holding strong.  They are doing really well with it!
7:15am: Wake up
7:30am: Nurse
7:50am: Solids breakfast
9-11am: Nap
11am: Nurse
11:45am: Solids lunch
2-4:30pm: Nap
4:30pm: Nurse
5:30pm: Solids dinner
6:45pm: Nurse
7pm: Bed

They tumble around each other like puppies.  It is so funny!

Samantha, my little sweetheart

My Alison, always the character

Sammy and Ali!  My best girls

The girls are little sweethearts.  It is so hard when they are teething.  They were really uncomfortable and I sometimes felt like there was just not enough mom to go around.  But it makes me so grateful for their sunny personalities.  When they aren't in pain, they are such little delights.  And even when they are teething they try to have fun and be happy.  They are funny and playful, sweet and snuggly, smart and feisty.  They make us laugh with their antics.  They loving and lovable.  They adore their big brother.  I am so thankful to have them as my daughters.  They are wonderful girls and bring such joy to our lives.

-Kim

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope everyone is getting to enjoy a great day with friends and family.

I know I have so very much to be thankful for.  This year has been full of big changes, and I am so happy for them.

A year ago I was still adjusting to the idea that we would be having two more babies.  And I had no clue we would move so far away.  I can honestly say I am exactly where I need to be right now.  I am spending wonderful time with my family.  We have a great new home that has the space for all our children.  Pat has a job that leaves him fulfilled and happy.  Everything isn't perfect, but we are on a good path and I am excited to see where it takes us.

Thank you to all our friends and family who have been with us every step of the way.  We wouldn't be where we are now without all of you.

I am so blessed and truly thankful this Thanksgiving.


-Kim

Ten months!

Ali and Sammy are ten months old!!! Okay, yes, this post is a couple of days late.  Gramma and Grampa are in town and while I remembered to take pictures, I forgot to get the post up!  But these sweet girls are ten months old now!  Wow, we are closing in on the big one really quickly.  I can't believe another month went by so fast!

Of course every time I try to do this now the sign is harder and harder to get in the pictures.  They are just too interested in playing with.  And eating it, to be honest. Silly girls. :P  But here are some of my faves from this month:

Alison!

Samantha!

My sweet babies!!!

Only picture with an intact sign...

This time Ben actually wanted to get in on the pictures with his sisters!  Both at the same time!  Of course I let him hop right in there.  And yes, he is rocking his Halloween Mickey jammies.  Gramma and Grampa got him new ones this year, and we use those bad boys year round.

Sammy, Ben, and Ali!

One last one.  It isn't the best picture.  Sammy is trying to scoot down the couch.  I'm pretty certain Ali is trying to crawl away, hence the arm on the side holding her in place.  But Ben is wanting to be there and putting his arm around his sisters.  So sweet!

My sweet loves

I love these girls so very much.  They keep us busy with their antics, but I can't imagine how we lived without them.  We love you, Ali and Sammy!


-Kim

BFBN: 6 Positives to Late Potty Training

When I read about babywise and potty training I often read about how to potty train early.  I know when my son was nearing two I felt like I should really get him potty trained soon.  The thing is, he was just not ready.  We introduced the potty several ways but he just had zero interest and I didn't want to force it.  Then we had the girls, and there was no way I was potty training with two newborns.  Finally we reached a point where I thought Ben might be ready and we up and moved across country.  So here we are, with Ben past his third birthday and we are finally potty training.  I can tell you it is easy to be a bit embarrassed when your older toddler isn't potty trained yet.  But why?  Who says a toddler has to be potty trained by age two or earlier?

I'm not saying there aren't some drawbacks to late potty training.  And I know that sometimes life events mean you have to go for potty training (preschool, daycare, diaper costs, etc).  The opposite is true to though, sometimes life happens and we have to wait.  Every child is different, and there is no reason to feel bad because your child didn't potty train early.  Here are some positive parts of late potty training.

1) The child is in diapers longer.  Okay, I know the goal is to get out of diapers.  But come on, having to find bathrooms everywhere you go for tiny bladders can be annoying.  I know when the girls were brand new just getting us all out of the house was a challenge.  I didn't want to  have to add in one more thing to worry about.  So I suppose this plus is you can be lazy longer. ;)

2) The child often will be better at communicating his or her needs.  This of course is highly variable from child to child.  My son wasn't a huge talker until he was over two and a half.  At two years old he didn't really have to words to tell me what was going on with his body.  He also didn't have the words to let me know he understood what I was telling him.  Now at age three I know he understands what I am saying and he is able to communicate clearly back to me.

3) The child has an easier time pulling off their clothes and putting them back on.  Sitting on the potty isn't the only part for kids to learn when they potty train.  By training later the child often has an easier time getting their clothing on and off in order to use a potty.  The goal is, after all, to have the child use the bathroom without help.

4) The child is more aware of what is happening with their bodies.  An older child knows when their diaper is dirty, and this usually means they know how it got that way.  Waiting until a child tells you he or she needs a new diaper means you don't have to try to explain to them the mechanics of how their bodies eliminate waste.  They already know what is happening and probably don't like how it feels, which helps motivate them to use the potty.

5) The child is often able to control their bodies longer.  Starting at a later age means you might be able to skip the step of sitting on the potty every twenty minutes.  This is very nice when you have other kids that need attention too.  It also means we could move towards getting out of the house sooner since we could go an hour or ninety minutes between potty uses.

6) We had a longer lead in to potty training.  Just because we didn't potty train early doesn't mean we weren't slowly working towards that goal.  We read the books with Ben, we practiced sitting on his little potty, and we talked to him about what was happening in the bathroom.  Waiting meant we didn't have any fear of what was happening to overcome.  It also meant we could build excitement for it.  We were able to lay out all the good things that go along with using the potty (getting to flush, wearing big kid underpants, etc).  This helped Ben be happy to start training which made starting much easier.

I think the most important thing in potty training is determining when your child is ready.  If that is early, awesome.  But for some children it is a little later.  And you know what?  That's okay.  Potty training is stressful enough.  If your child isn't ready (and you don't have outside factors forcing you to train), there is no reason to be ashamed in waiting a bit.

-Kim

All the ladies of the BFBN are tackling different parts of potty training today.  Be sure to check them all out!!

Chronicles of a Babywise Mom: 5 Things To Do Before Your Start Potty Training
Twinning Babywise: Potty Training Readiness Cues: Patience, Low Expectations, and Perserverance
Mama's Organized Chaos: Poop Talk-Realities of Potty Training
let's be brave: Potty Training Hacks
The Journey of Parenthood: Potty Training Post Round-Up!

Play time!

These kids just slay me.  Ben is just exploding with imaginative play right now.  He loves to play dress up and is starting to want to act out scenes together.  Recently he has been into being a pirate.  Fortunately we have an awesome pirate ship for him.  Who knew laundry baskets had so many uses?

Pirate Ben!

Daddy's t shirt made an excellent sail.

Of course the girls like the baskets too.  

Tiny Steelers fans! (Sammy white, Ali yellow)

Ali and Sammy can be such a hoot when they play together.  They climb all over each other.  They are constantly stealing toys from each other.  This means there are often yells of indignant baby rage, followed by giggles, followed by tears, followed by giggles.  Overall they seem to enjoy one another.  They are busy and get into everything every chance they can get. 

It's so funny when your sister tackles you.

Playing hard!

Sammy left, Ali right

Someone always ends up with a foot in the ear. 

Alison!

Samantha!

Sammy (L) Ali (R)

 And some times all three of them play together.  Ben loves when they climb all over him, and the girls adore when Ben plays with them.

My three loves!!!

These three certainly keep me busy, but it is so worth it.

-Kim

No pictures please: A voting story

So here we are a week out from the election.  And you know what bothers me the most?  I didn't get my picture.  You know the one, they were all over facebook- adorable children smiling with their mom or dad, proudly wearing 'I voted' stickers.  I am not super into politics, but I do my part (at least in the major elections).  I do want to encourage my kids to take an active role in our democratic process.  Well, I voted all right.  And I took the kids with me.  But no, we have no pictures from that morning.

The day started out a little chaotic.  I had plans of when we were going to vote.  I thought about dressing up the kids in some nice red, white, and blue outfits.  I mean, everything is more fun when you theme it out, right?  We'd have our usual morning and head to vote after the girls had their morning nap.  Perfect, right?  Nope.  My day started with Pat running around trying to find his tools because the knob in the bathtub broke and the water wouldn't stop running.  He has to leave pretty early in the morning for work, and that day he was up earlier and even more pressed for time in order to go vote before work.  Having to do a household repair was not helpful.  I tried to help, and I fortunately remembered we knew how to turn the water off to the whole house.  (We had a leaky hose we tried to fix by turning a level near the faucet.  Then we went inside and had no water.  It turned out to be a helpful mistake.)

Pat got himself ready and out the door while I settled in to watch some youtube videos to see if this was something I could fix.  There was one quick fix, but required me to go to the hardware store.  I let the kids sleep until their normal wake times (no sense having cranky kids on top of no water).  I gave Ben a quick breakfast, nursed the girls, and we hit up the hardware store.  I really want to thank the employee that recognized that someone walking into a hardware store at 7:45am with three small kids probably wants to get in and out quickly.  We were able to get the part and be back home in about twenty minutes.

I tried to fix the knob myself.  It did not work.  Not because I did it wrong, I am happy to say.  But basically that wasn't the problem.  Oh well.  I had an idea of what the problem might be (seriously, what did people do before youtube videos to show you how to do everything?), but actually doing it was a different story.  I did have my super handy helper Ben who brought his tool kit in to the bathroom with me.  But Ali and Sammy were a little less than helpful and wanted attention.  At this point all I could really do was wait for the plumber to call me back and let me know when he could come over.

I have to say, this is a total first world problem and I know that.  Really, I am very fortunate to not have had a burst pipe, or to have no water in the middle of a freezing winter.  But having to go outside to turn the water on every time we needed it was annoying.  You don't realize how much you take running water for granted until you try to turn it on about a gazillion times and it isn't there.  Let's add in Ben is potty training right now, and he loves to flush the potty.  I had to explain to him why we weren't flushing, which you can bet a three year old understood right away and didn't ask a million questions about. ;)  I couldn't get a shower, I couldn't do most of the chores (laundry, some cleaning, cooking- all easier to do with running water), and the girls were teething hard.  That last one has nothing to do with the water, but was frustrating for all parties.  I didn't know when our tub would be fixed, and I wasn't sure when I could make it out to vote.  I didn't want to have to wait too long and not get to go.  Pat had texted that he waited in line for almost an hour before he had to leave to go to work, so he had to stop on the way home.  I didn't want to mess with nap time on top of everything else, so I decided to just pack everyone up and go.

I had gotten the kids dressed pretty quickly that morning, so they weren't in their cute patriotic outfits.  I had just thrown on yesterday's clothes and hadn't even showered yet, so that was super.  But democracy just wants you to show up, right?  I was happy the line to vote was pretty short.  However, it was in a gym that has some good acoustics and Ben was pretty happy to show them off to everyone.  Awesome.  Plus he decided the best way to pass the time while I tried to vote was to literally run in circles around my little voting booth.  Yeah...  I tried to vote as quickly as I could so we could head out.

On our way out the nice gentleman helping at the exit had four stickers all ready to go for us.  This was it.  The kids looked cute, despite not being themed.  As long as I wasn't in the picture we were set.  I put the stickers on the girls and put one on Ben.  Ben immediately started yelling, "No! No! No!" (Seriously, he is the only three year old I know that doesn't like stickers.  What is up with that?) He tore his sticker off.  Fine, I would get a picture of my sweet little girls.  I look down and both of them had pulled off their stickers and were trying to eat them.  Great.  I grab all the stickers and we leave.

Leaving around the same time of me was another mother and her friend.  This mother was wearing her sweet little baby who looked to be just a few months old.  She and her baby looked super cute together, They are happy and smiling for a picture.  She was sweet and offered to take a picture of my rag tag crew and me.  I didn't even think before practically yelling no.  I had one kid running in circles around me, two babies crying because I wouldn't let them eat stickers, and I was unshowered and wearing yesterday's clothes.

We headed home and fortunately the plumber was in and out before nap time.  The kids napped, I finally got my shower, and Pat was able to vote after work.  All in all things worked out well.  I voted, the kids experienced democracy, and we had working water again.  That's what counts and I am grateful for both running water and our country.

But I still want my picture.  Maybe in four more years.  :)

-Kim

BFBN Week:More than just a sleep system and How to babywise with multiple kids

Last day of this BFBN week!  We have had some great posts this week to try to get rid of some of the myths surrounding babywise.  Today we have two last great posts.

The first comes from Cole from Twinning Babywise.  She is talking to us about Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep.  Some people think babywise is just about getting your baby to sleep through the night as soon as possible.  Yes, we all want our babies to sleep at night so we can sleep too.  But babywise is so much more than that! Cole writes:

 "The purpose of the -wise series isn't to get your kids sleeping through the night as quickly as possible (although, BONUS!). The purpose is to teach new parents how to be good stewards of their children. The objective is a parent who is in control of their children and their family - one who can make the distinction between what is best for a child's development and what the child wants in the moment. "

Read the rest of her post to learn more about how babywise is more than just a sleep system:

Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep

The last post of the week is from Emily at The Journey of Parenthood.  She is talking about how babywise is possible with multiple children.  I love this post.  When I was expecting the girls I knew I wanted to use the babywise principles that had worked so well with Ben, but it can be a bit daunting to think about making it all work with more than one child.  Emily really outlines well how it can be done.  She writes:

"I think the reason people assume Babywise scheduling isn't possible with multiple children is because we do tend to "slack" more the more kids we have. You have to! Your life can't revolve around one child because you have more than one child. I'm here to say though that you don't have to veer off course just because you have more than one child under your roof! I'm living proof of it :)"

Check out the rest here: How to Make Babywise Possible with Multiple Children

-Kim 
Here is the rest of the schedule for the week.  Be sure to check back to read more!

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom talking about the Myths versus Realities of Babywise.
• Tuesday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos talking about how Babywise isn't imposing a schedule; it is learning the ideal schedule.
• Wednesday: Shea at The Moses Home talking about How Schedules Keep Us Flexible, Not Rigid. Natasha at Let's Be Brave is talking about how Babywise works for you (not the other way around)
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures is talking about how Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't) Kimberly at Team Cartwright will be discussing Myth: Babywise Automatically Diminishes Milk Supply
• Friday: Cole at Twinning Babywise talking about how Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep
• . Emily at The Journey of Parenthood talking about How to Make Babywise Possible with Multiple Children

BFBN Week: Myth: Babywise Automatically Diminishes Milk Supply

Day four of this BFBN week!  Today I am here to discuss the myth that babywise and scheduled feedings will diminish your milk supply.

I want to start this post out by saying I know every woman's body and every nursing relation is unique.  I don't want to ignore the fact that sometimes breastfeeding just doesn't work.  I think the idea that scheduled feedings will automatically mean a diminished supply is just not true though.  A big misconception about babywise is that it tells you not to feed your child if he or she is hungry.  Well Valerie from the Chronicles of a Babywise Mom pointed out specifically all the times that the babywise book actually tells you to feed your baby if he or she is hungry!  Check it out here.  (Not to mention if you think your baby is hungry are you really going to not feed him or her because some book told you not to?  I don't think so.)  There is a difference between letting your baby go hungry or trying to go as long as possible between feedings and feeding on a schedule.  And feeding on a schedule does not mean your milk will automatically dry up.

The production of breast milk in the body works on a supply and demand system.  The baby demands milk, so the breast makes more.  The more a baby eats, the more the body knows to make.  Once milk is no longer demanded production of it slows down.  So it would make sense that if you spread out feedings too quickly production would taper off.  But no where does it say that scheduling feedings mean you have to make them far apart.  My son was a hungry little newborn.  I knew this and the interval between feedings was sometimes only ninety minutes.  That interval grew with time.  Scheduling does not mean you ignore the demand to eat, it means you meet that demand and plan ahead to keep meeting it.  It is recommended by the AAP to wake babies during the day if they are sleeping past the three hour mark.  Babywise tells us to do the same thing!  It is important to have full complete feedings frequently throughout the day to build and maintain milk supply.

Scheduling is not about trying to go as long as possible between feedings.  It's about making sure your babies are eating enough.  The first few weeks of my baby's lives were sleepy, sleepy weeks for my little ones.  If I had just let them sleep as long as they liked I wouldn't have fed them as frequently.  By scheduling feedings I made sure they ate the recommended 8-12 times in a 24 hour period.  When I started nursing the girls I nursed them one at a time.  This let me really focus on them each staying awake and getting a full feeding.  Scheduling these nursing sessions let me make sure that one girl wouldn't be left hungry simply because her sister demanded to eat first.  To prevent the girls from getting too hungry I actually scheduled their initial feedings two to two and half hours apart.  I was able to keep ahead of the hunger so they ate enough and weren't starving at meal times, making it harder to nurse.

Scheduling means planning ahead.  Having twins and a toddler means you have to plan.  Newborns can take a very long time to eat.  Toddlers are not good at waiting and entertaining themselves when they need something.  By knowing when my girls were going to eat I could be sure that Ben had a fresh diaper and a full sippy of water before I started feeding the girls.  For myself I made sure I had water, my phone, and the tv remote handy.  Even now when the girls only take about 10 minutes to eat I can still be prepared!  I know to make Ben use the potty before we start.  I know when we can get out of the house and go to activities because I know when my girls will be hungry.  At nine months old the girls still nurse five times a day.  Scheduling these feedings mean I make sure that they nurse before they have solids, which makes it easier for them to get maximum nutrition from breast milk.

As babies grow and get busier, it can be hard to get them to settle down and nurse.  They want to play and explore!  Scheduling feedings help me be sure to take the proper time and make nursing a priority.  I make sure we sit down at the appropriate times and focus on this special time.  The girls know that it is time to eat and I think settle into it nicely.

I think I am a personal example of how scheduled feedings doesn't mean you will lose supply.  I nursed my son for 14 months.  The first six months were just breast milk, and solids were slowly added in after that.  I am going on 10 months of nursing my twins, the first seven being just breast milk before really starting solids, and I don't plan to end any time soon.  Yes, I know that is not every woman's story.  I know there are many reasons why nursing doesn't work.  But I am personal proof that scheduling feedings alone does not mean you will lose all your milk.

What does it mean when you schedule something? To me it means you are prioritizing it.  You are making sure to carve out time in your day because you see that activity as being important.  I schedule my nursing sessions because I think they are of utmost importance.  I make sure to find the proper time in every day to meet the needs of my babies, making sure that I keep up a good supply to do so.

Babywise isn't a starvation method that will make your breast milk dry up.  It is a system for assessing what your child needs and trying to find the best way to meet those needs while meeting the needs of everyone in the family.  It is figuring out what is going on with your child and how to best provide for him or her.  Or, in other words, parenting.  With a three year old and twin infants we have a lot of needs that need to be met.  Scheduling nursing sessions let me make sure everyone's needs are met, including nursing enough to maintain milk supply.  Babywise isn't for everyone, and that is just fine.  There isn't one right way to parent.  But know that babywise in itself does not make milk dry up.  I am proof of that.

-Kim 
Here is the rest of the schedule for the week.  Be sure to check back to read more!

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom talking about the Myths versus Realities of Babywise.
• Tuesday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos talking about how Babywise isn't imposing a schedule; it is learning the ideal schedule.
• Wednesday: Shea at The Moses Home talking about How Schedules Keep Us Flexible, Not Rigid. Natasha at Let's Be Brave is talking about how Babywise works for you (not the other way around)
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures is talking about how Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't) Kimberly at Team Cartwright will be discussing Myth: Babywise Automatically Diminishes Milk Supply
• Friday: Cole at Twinning Babywise  talking about how Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep
• . Emily at The Journey of Parenthood talking about How to Make Babywise Possible with Multiple Children

BFBN Week: Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't)

Today in BFBN week we have a great post from Carrie at Wiley Adventures.  I have often read that babywise equals cry it out.  This is not true!  I haven't done cry it out with my babies and I have had plenty of success with babywise.  Carrie writes, "Nowhere in the "On Becoming Babywise" book does it tell you that you have to do CIO to be successful with Babywise. In fact, the book doesn't even give you  a guideline for sleep training at all. It does say that "it is an aquired skill that is enhanced by routine" (pg. 55). But the heart and meat of Babywise is a Parent Directed Feeding Plan and the Eat Wake Sleep Cycle... NOT sleep training."

Check out her post here:

Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't)

-Kim 
Here is the rest of the schedule for the week.  Be sure to check back to read more!

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom talking about the Myths versus Realities of Babywise.
• Tuesday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos talking about how Babywise isn't imposing a schedule; it is learning the ideal schedule.
• Wednesday: Shea at The Moses Home talking about How Schedules Keep Us Flexible, Not Rigid. Natasha at Let's Be Brave is talking about how Babywise works for you (not the other way around)
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures is talking about how Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't) Kimberly at Team Cartwright discussing Myth: Babywise Automatically Diminishes Milk Supply
• Friday: Cole at Twinning Babywise talking about how Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep. Emily at The Journey of Parenthood talking about How to Make Babywise Possible with Multiple Children

BFBN Week: Babywise works for you (not the other way around) and How schedules keep us flexible, not rigid

Halfway through this BFBN week!  So far we have had a couple great posts dispelling some common babywise myths!  Today we have two more posts to check out.

Natasha from let's be brave talking about how babywise works for you.  She writes, "Many people who think of babywise immediately think of hyperscheduling or cry it out or whatever.  And while babywise does incorporate a schedule and encourages you to allow your baby to learn how to self-soothe, what it's NOT doing is demanding you stick to a rigid schedule or let your baby cry for hours and hours and hours.  Babywise provides the skeleton for structure; it's a parenting tool."  This is so true.  I really think babywise provides suggestions and a guideline to follow.  Implementation is totally up to each individual parent.  You can read the rest of her post here: Babywise works for you (not the other way around)

Shea from The Moses Home has a post about how schedules actually allow for flexibility and don't keep us rigid.  I like how she notes, "When you have your basic day to day living schedule working well for you and baby, baby knows what to expect for his day. There is a sweet, real security created that the baby learns to trust."  I know I feel more secure when I know what to expect from my day.  It just makes sense that kids feel the same.  Check out what Shea has to say here:  How schedules keep us flexible, not rigid

-Kim 
Here is the rest of the schedule for the week.  Be sure to check back to read more!

• Monday: Valerie at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom talking about the Myths versus Realities of Babywise.
• Tuesday: Katrina at Mama's Organized Chaos talking about how Babywise isn't imposing a schedule; it is learning the ideal schedule.
• Wednesday: Shea at The Moses Home talking about How Schedules Keep Us Flexible, Not Rigid. Natasha at Let's Be Brave is talking about how Babywise works for you (not the other way around)
• Thursday: Carrie at Wiley Adventures is talking about how Babywise and Cry It Out (Or Don't) Kimberly at Team Cartwright will be discussing Myth: Babywise Automatically Diminishes Milk Supply
• Friday: Cole at Twinning Babywise talking about how Haters Miss the Point: Babywise is More Than Just Sleep
• . Emily at The Journey of Parenthood talking about How to Make Babywise Possible with Multiple Children