Ben's birthdays

Despite our busy life change, Ben managed to have a pretty good birthday.  We didn't do a big party.  I do of course have some mom guilt about that.  But really Ben did not seem to mind in the slightest.  What was most important to him was having fun and eating cake.  We accomplished those things and then some!

We ended up do three little celebrations for Ben.  The first was a couple of weeks before his actual birthday.  Meo and Omi wanted to celebrate with him.  We took advantage of Aunt Gail and Uncle Dan's pool to swim and play!  Ben wanted a Toy Story cake and we delivered.  Through in a couple of gifts and some cartoons and Ben was a happy kid.

We always have balloons to play with at Ben's birthdays.

New robot toy!

I think the cake looked great!  Ben loved it and still plays with the toys on top. 

Ben's actual birthday was on a weekday after Meo and Omi had headed home.  We couldn't pass up a little celebration though.  It was just the five of us.  Ben and Pat went swimming, then we enjoyed some cupcakes and another little gift.  I think it makes sense not to go all out on birthdays when they are on week days.  I mean, I love birthdays but life still has to take place.  We made sure to acknowledge the day and add some special touches for Ben, which was perfect.

Bullseye!

Woody was happy to have his loyal pal. :)

Cupcakes, a candle, and singing.  All made for a happy Ben.

The weekend after Ben's birthday we had his final party.  A great thing about moving here is that he has cousins in the area!  My cousin Evan lives here with his wife Jessee and their kids Peyton and Benson.  Peyton is four and Benson is almost 2.  You can bet we are going to have a blast with all five of the kids running around together.  They came over to swim and have some fun with us for Ben's birthday!  (We didn't think Aunt Gail and Uncle Dan would mind us hosting a birthday party at their house since the guest list was just their son, daughter-in-law, and grandkids. ;) )

The kids all had a great time swimming and running around together.  I think Benson and Ben are going to be great friends growing up together.  They both got a kick out of literally just running around.  Ali and Sammy already adore Peyton.  It is amazing how they can tell she is the 'big girl' and therefore super cool.  Peyton loved them too, which was so sweet to watch.  

Benson and Peyton!  They are so sweet and fun.

Swimming!!

Peyton was great with her baby cousins.  They loved watching her.

Fueling up after swimming

They were so sweet and brought gifts!  Ben is a lucky boy.

Aren't they so cute watching Mickey together?  Friends already.

The bubble gun was a huge hit!  Thanks you guys!

So while we didn't have a big blow out, I think we celebrated Ben's birthday in style.  He was so happy to get way too many sweets, what with cake and cupcakes on three days.  Plus he really enjoyed us singing to him this year, which I loved.  He got into the idea of blowing out the candle and really enjoyed opening his gifts.  It is so much fun to see him get into birthday traditions and understand more and more what is going on with each passing year.  

Three years old!

I am so blessed to be Ben's mom.  Every stage with him is better than the last.  He has brought us such happiness over the past three years, and I can't wait to see what this next year has for us.  Thanks for being you, Benjamin.  My amazing, sweet, funny, smart, kind, silly boy.  I love you more than you will ever know.

-Kim

The story of the move: Settling in

 Once we made the decision to move and took our epic road trip, we were ready to get settled again.  Pat and I are so grateful to my Aunt Gail and Uncle Dan for letting us stay at their place.  It was so nice to have a place to stay while we looked for a home.  First of all, it saved us money from having to stay in a hotel.  It let Pat get down here quickly to start his job and have a comfortable place to stay.  Plus it saved us from having to just pick a place fast or sight unseen just to have somewhere to be.  It gave me the chance to look around and find a place that met our needs and was at the right price.  Yes, Pat was here early, but really we all know I wanted to be the one with a major say in our new home.  As an added bonus they have a really nice house (with a pool!) so the kids and I got a mini vacation feel at the end of our long trip!  Ben loved swimming and playing at the house.  The girls had fun too!  We did take them swimming, their first time!  They both enjoyed it for the most part.  Ali giggled and smiled the whole time.  She was really into it.  Sammy was a little more subtle about it, as per usual.  She clung to us pretty tightly, but she had her tiny smile on.  With two babies, a toddler, and only two parents the girls didn't swim much. Pat and I took turns with Ben in the pool.  We loved all the pool time we got to have!

Dagger was very happy to be out of the car.  And she adored the nice digs at Aunt Gail and Uncle Dan's.

Swimming!  Ben was so happy to get to swim so much.  We took advantage of the back yard pool!

We of course visited Target several times.  I just makes sense to be a pirate there.

Ben got his cowboy hat on the drive.  He loved wearing it around the house!

Between looking at homes and getting our bearings we found a library to visit!  We are always into a good library.

Ben is really into trains right now.

Sammy was pretty happy to be out and about.

Ali loved it too!

Ben liked the fun kids' computers best.  

Super hero shenanigans were had, naturally. :P

Omi and Meo stayed around after the first weekend.  Omi had to head back for work, but Meo stayed the whole next week.  This was huge.  I spent several days driving all over the place looking at potential homes.  Having someone to watch the kids made this so much easier.  I took a look at several and found one I really liked.  We are renting for a year to get a feel for the area and see where we actually want to settle.  Fortunately for us we got the one I liked best!!  Yay!  It worked out perfectly that I found out we got the house we wanted just before we took Meo to the airport to fly home.  It was wonderful to know we had a place to call our own!

Of course finding the place didn't mean we were done.  We had to do that pesky actually move in, unpack, and get our new lives set up stuff.  (Part of that was getting internet set up, which took some time.  This all contributed to the lack of blogging for a bit.)  The house we found is actually about 45 minutes to an hour away from my aunt and uncle.  We spent a good deal of time in the car driving back and forth as we got everything set up.  We signed a the lease midweek, but couldn't get movers right away.  The kids and I drove back and forth to set up what we could and take care of all that pesky stuff that goes with moving across state lines.  I have to brag here, the kids were so good with all of this!  We had to get to the DMV, the post office, wait for the gas man, make phone calls, and drive all over.  Ali and Sammy had to take some car naps, which isn't my favorite thing to do.  But it is hard to get things done an hour away in the short time between naps!  Ben had to spend a lot of time in the car and waiting in lines.  All three of them were amazing.  (I think I'm going to have to do a post just on how much babywise played a part in this.)  Moving isn't easy as an adult, and the kids rolled with everything so well.

This was where we spent a lot of our time.

And this was a common sight too.  Poor kids!  They were seriously such troopers.

I tried to have some fun with the kids in all the craziness.  Ben loves the new house.  He really enjoyed running around when nothing was moved in yet!  The girls have gotten so busy too!  They aren't officially crawling yet, thank goodness.  But they wiggle and roll and manage to get all over the place!  It doesn't seem to be directed motion yet.  Ben didn't crawl until he was almost a year old and it was wonderful.  It is so much easier to keep the kids safe when they stay where you put them!  Plus once Ben did start crawling he was older and better able to understand limits and the word no.  I admit I'm a little concerned with how much the girls are able to wiggle around this young.  Two of them getting around on their own?!  I'm not ready!  It is fun to watch them play at least. :)

So much room!

Ben loved getting to sit in his little chair and watch movies in the new house.  He looks so cute!

Moving day had to take place on a week day, so it was just me and the kids.  I love having a three bedroom.  I was able to have the kids all in one room to stay safe while the movers worked.  They had fun too!

Just hanging out in the girls' room.  Nice and empty.

And the rest of the house...

Our new home is a ranch.  I wasn't sure what I would think of that, being used to stairs and all.  But with the little ones let me tell you it is awesome.  I can have all three kids playing in their rooms and still see them and hear them well.  I can get to them in no time if needed.  It really made unpacking easier.

Kids playing quietly in their own rooms?  Yeah, I can get used to that. ;)

Over the weekend Pat was able to help us out.  Ben was super pumped to help Pat out.  Yeah, you can imagine how much 'help' the three year old offered up, but it was adorable to watch the two of them together.  Pat was so great and patient, explaining everything he was doing and finding ways for Ben to participate.  I think it really helped Ben feel comfortable in his new home.  He had a sense of ownership from helping out.

Ben saw his ball factory peeking out of a box.  His wonderful daddy stopped everything else to get it put back together.  Who needs beds? We need our toys! :)

Building Ali and Sammy's beds.

Helping is exhausting.

Another big thing with the move was finally getting the kids into their 'new' beds!  Ben was still in his crib.  Yes, he did just turn three and was still in a crib.  He loved it and never tried to climb out.  When it comes to sleep I tend to stick to a 'if it ain't broke...' mentality.  Ben slept really well in his crib and was happy.  Moving gave us the perfect chance to turn his bed into a toddler bed.  It added to the excitement of the move.  He loves it!  And he has been doing really well with staying in it!  We talked up the big boy bed for a long time, really emphasizing that you do not get out of bed.  So far so good.  We'll see how he does long term.  The girls had their cribs set up in our old house, but they hadn't really slept in them much.  They had napped in them, they just hadn't done overnight there yet.  At our old place all three kids shared one room and I was worried they would all wake each other up.  As I have said a lot, I love sleep and don't like to mess with what is working.  So we just kept the girls in our room.  Same as with Ben, I didn't see the point of making big changes right before the Major Change of moving, so the girls ended up staying in our room and sleeping together for a lot longer than planned.  Some of my worries were for nothing.  Ben, Ali, and Sammy all slept in the same room at my aunt and uncle's place and they did well!  This move came at a great time though, because Ali and Sammy were starting to wake each other up with all their wiggling around.    I was worried about switching them to cribs so late, but they seem to like the cribs!  They are sleeping nicely in their beds and don't seem to mind being on their own.

So much room! (Sammy)

New friends to look at! (Ali)

(Before I get angry comments, yes, we use bumpers at this age.  I have read all about crib safety and know that nothing should be in the bed with young babies.  They had nothing in their beds until this point.  Ali and Sammy can both lift their heads well, roll around, and I do not think they are unsafe for them at this point.  After being put in the cribs for the first time both managed to wiggle and get their legs caught between the slats.  The bumpers prevent them from injuring themselves this way.  I have done my research, and I have made my decision to do what I think is in their best interest.)

Big boy bed!!

So that is the story of our move!  We packed, took a three day drive, found a new house, and got all moved in.  It's been busy, but we are so happy with our decision to do this.  I love our new house.  The kids seem really happy.  And Pat is enjoying his new job.  Now we have to focus on finding new activities and friends here!

Loving our new home!!!

Thank you again to everyone who helped us through this major life change.  We did not do this alone.  We are so grateful to all our amazing friends and family.

 -Kim


Catch up on how our moving story started!  Deciding to move and packing and the road trip!

BFBN- 8 Ways to Reward Your Children for Good Behavior- Guest Post

It's BFBN trade day!  I'm over at The Journey of Parenthood talking about how I stay mindful while getting a lot of twin attention.

Today I am lucky to have Valerie from Chronicles of a Babywise Mom!  The kids have been so good with all the changes and crazy days during this move.  I have been looking for ways to reward them for their good behavior, as well as encourage it to continue.  Val has 8 great ways to reward our kids that are easy to do.  I'm so happy to have this list to add to my bag of tricks!

As always, check out all the BFBN ladies for some great posts!

-Kim

Positive reinforcement is a powerful way to encourage good behavior. You might think "reward" and worry it will either take too much effort or that your child will come to depend on it. Rewarding your child for choosing to do the right thing should be a natural part of life and does not need to be something big. You want to help your child recognize what behavior is appropriate while also helping your child learn to be self-motivated to make right choices.

1- One-on-One Time

A great reward that any child loves is one-on-one time with a parent. You might go out for a treat, go to a movie, or simply go for a walk. You could do a dance party in the family room. You could bake cookies. Children love the undivided attention of their parents. It has been said that children spell love T-I-M-E, so spending time with them is a great way to show your love and appreciation for them. You can get more ideas for one-on-one time at my post here, The Why and How of Parent/Child Dates. 

2- Verbal Affirmation

One of the best tricks I have observed that teachers use in the classroom is to point out a child's good behavior. "I really like the way Suzie is sitting quietly in her desk." This not only gets Suzie to sit even more quietly, but it gets the other children in the class to do the same. This can be used at home, also. "I really like the way you helped clean up your toys so cheerfully! Thank you." Words of affirmation are powerful. One important thing to remember when offering verbal affirmation is to praise the effort, not the end result. 

3- Hugs

Giving a hug is a great way to show your child a big "thank you" for making the right choice. A tip I once read with hugs is to never be the first to let go. Since reading that, I have put it into practice. Sometimes my child hugs me for several minutes without letting go. Show that physical love to your child. 

4- Do Something Nice Back

If your child goes out of her way to do something nice for you, she will love it if you return the favor. You might do a chore for her, write her a note, make her a special treat, or draw her a picture. Think of some act of service your child would appreciate and do it. This can be a tricky one because a parent is pretty much always serving her children, but with a little thought, you can come up with something that will show your child a big thank you for her good behavior.  

5- Presents

Sometimes you might do a plain old gift for being good. This is one I use sparingly. I don't want my child thinking that any time he is good at the store, he gets some candy at the end. I also don't want her motivation for being good to be a gift. A gift can be a fun surprise, but do not be surprised if your child starts telling you of the latest good thing he did and wondering when he will get a present for doing so. For more guidance on showing love through gifts, see my post here. 

6-Ask How Your Child Feels

When my children make a right choice, I always like to ask them how it made them feel to do the right thing. They always smile and describe a happy feeling. I point out that is Heavenly Father telling them He is proud of them for making the right choice. You can point out the good feeling even if you are not religious. "Notice how happy your heart feels? That is how you know when you have made a right choice!" I love this method because it helps the child start to recognize how to tell the difference between right and wrong even when there isn't an adult right there to lead. It is also a great source of reward and helps lead the child toward intrinsic motivation. 

7- Set Goals 

If your child is consistently having trouble with a certain behavior, you might find it helpful to set a goal and find a way to work toward it. You might make a goal to stay in bed until you come get her after a nap. You could make a sticker chart to fill up. You could create a paper chain (or pre-make one and take one off for each day). You could build a Lego tower, with one piece each day she stays in bed. Have a reward for when the goal is reached and work toward it. 

8- Privileges

Sometimes you can offer an extra privilege for correct behavior. Maybe a little extra television time one day. Maybe an extra story at bedtime tonight. Perhaps you will go for a walk together. Think of something your child will find meaningful to get a bit extra of. Think of things as a positive consequence for doing the right thing. 

Conclusion

Rewarding positive behavior is a very fast and effective way to encourage your child to continue to choose good behavior in the future. It doesn't have to be big or elaborate. Experiment to see what is most meaningful for your child, and mix things up every so often so the reward isn't always the same thing. Happy training!

Valerie is a mother of four, ages 4-11, and blogs at www.babywisemom.com. 

The story of the move: Road Trip!

After making the decision to move and packing up, we were ready for our road trip!  According to google maps, it was supposed to take 25 hours to make our drive.  Pat managed to do that in two days.  Our trip was going to be a little different.  It was three kids, Meo, and me in the van.  Omi was driving our UHaul.  Don't worry, he wasn't alone.  Dagger was riding with him.  (Yep, Omi got to go on a three day road trip with our cat.  Overall he said she wasn't a bad travel companion, she did just really sleep the whole time.  I was a little worried about how Dagger would take the drive, but I was also a bit jealous as she got some nice pills from the vet to help her relax on the drive.)  With our little caravan I was hoping to get to my aunt and uncle's place in three days.  I knew our stops would take a bit longer, but I thought we could do it.

We packed up the van the day before we left.  Meo helped out by watching all three kiddos while Omi and I took care of the truck business and finished cleaning up the house a bit.  We got up bright and early the next morning and got on the road!

That truck was filled to the brim!

Omi and me, 

I have to say, overall the kids were champs.  The girls were not overly thrilled with the whole adventure.  They are social little ladies.  Being stuck in their rear facing seats without anyone to see for long stretches of time is tough for them.  But they are still babies, and that is the only safe way for them to drive.  With their seats and all the other stuff we had in the van there was no room for anyone to sit back with them.  When we stopped they were very happy to be turned around and see people.  I was able to nurse them in the car while Meo would run in to rest stops then we would switch.  Every stop took about half an hour to get everyone fed and changed, but we had a good system!  The girls did complain a bit on the drive, but they got into their groove by the second day.

Ben was amazing on the drive!  This kid was so excited to go see his Daddy.  Every time we would start driving he would yell out, "To infinity and beyond!"  This was usually followed by, "We're coming to save you, Daddy!"  I'm not quite sure what we were saving him from, but it was super cute.  I was a little worried about having an almost three year old on a three day car trip, but I was so happy with how well Ben did!  We do have a car dvd player.  We have managed to lose the cord to plug it into the car though, so it only has 5 hours of battery life at a time.  Well, we were driving for about 10 hours a day.  Ben had a lot of time without any real entertainment, but he was amazing!  We looked out the window and talked about what we saw.  We talked about our new home.  We practiced numbers and counting.  I think he was just so happy that we were finally on our way to Daddy that he didn't care that he was in the car.  After the first day on the road he didn't even want to get out at most rest stops.  He asked me to change his diaper in the car and ate quickly while the girls nursed.  He did seem to really enjoy eating in the car.  That is something that only happens on road trips, so it was a pretty big treat.  The drive was also made so much better by having Meo with us.  It was so helpful to have someone to pass back water, snacks, and toys while I focused on the road.

We were happy that our trip took us pretty close to where Gramma and Grampa live!  We were super happy that the whole Arkansas crew took the time to drive out and meet us at the end of our first day!!  It was wonderful to see everyone!  This was the first time all the cousins were meeting.  Ben hadn't seen Charlotte, Joe, and Ella since last summer.  (We were going to go there for Christmas, but I was too pregnant to travel.)  It was crazy, but so much fun!  My kids were pretty tired from the long drive and just the late night.  (They usually go to bed between 7 and 7:30)  The girls weren't overly thrilled at the end of that first day, so it was nice for them to get extra cuddles and attention.  Ben loves running around with his cousins.  They are all so great with him!  The kids might not get to see each other very often, but when they do they fold Ben right into their crew as one of them.  Joe and Ben ran around the hotel lobby while Charlotte and Ella cooed over Ali and Sammy.  We headed out to grab some dinner.  Fortunately we were the only people in the Fazolis we went to, because the kids were a little crazy.  It was great to get to see Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Chris too!  I always have fun when we all get together.  It was a bummer Pat wasn't there too, but we had fun in our quick visit.  

I got a few pictures, but I also spent a lot of time enjoying the company and running around with the kids.  I love my nieces and nephew so much!  I was so happy to get to see them!

Ella with Ali and Grampa!  Ella and Charlotte loved holding their little cousins.

Ali loved Charlotte!  She stared at her happily through most of the dinner.  And of course the kids got tons of Gramma hugs. :)

Joe and Ben on the run!  (Fortunately the lobby was empty except for our group)

Ella, Joe, and Ben.  He loves hanging out with the big kids!

Sammy and Charlotte (How grown up is Charlotte getting?!) 

Ben loved being silly with Joe.

Sammy and Grampa

Ben and Grampa!  I had noted how I didn't have any pictures of these two, so I made sure to get a shot!

After dinner the crew had to head back home, and my kiddos had to get to bed.  They were so tired!  Our second day didn't have the excitement of seeing family at the end, but the kids did even better than the first.  The girls weren't quite as unhappy with the drive.  Ben was focused on getting to Daddy, so he did really well again!

One part of the trip I was curious about was how the kids would do in a hotel.  I brought the girls' pack and play in the car.  They are still so little it was easier to bring their bed.  Plus I wanted to try to give them a familiar place so hopefully they would sleep well.  All the kids slept really well!  Ben was a big kid and got to sleep in a big bed for the first time.  Yes, he still sleeps in a crib.  He loves his crib and sleeps really well in it.  I don't like to mess with what works, especially with sleep.  But this was already so different I thought we could try him out in a bed.  He loved it and stayed in bed!  It helped that the beds were really tall.  He couldn't climb up by himself, so it was less tempting for him to get down.  Our first night we had two beds in the room.  He wanted me to sleep with him, so we started together.  Sharing a bed with Ben is basically how you would think sharing with an almost three year old would be.  He wanted to share a pillow, and the two of us were right at the edge of the bed.  It was super sweet, and I did enjoy a chance to snuggle with my little guy.  But once he fell asleep I went to the other bed.  The second night we just had one big king bed.  Yeah, not my best night sleep.  Ben wanted to be right with me, but he had to decide where my arms went.  I think his sleep time friends had more room than Ben and me together.  But again everyone slept all night long, so I was happy!

The kids enjoying the hotel!

Ali and Sammy were so happy to have room to wiggle!

Yes, all those friends shared the bed with us.  I got that tiny part to the left of Ben. :P

We got to go swimming the second night!  Score!

Sadly we didn't stop at any fun attractions or anything.  I would love to take a drive like this again and stop to see things.  This was not that trip though.  This was a trip of necessity, and we just had to get to Daddy.  We did manage to stop at one fun rest stop that had some dinosaurs outside it.  Ben wanted to go see them at first, but the load noises of the highway made him change his mind.

We only got a picture of him running back.

The final leg of the journey had a ton of winding roads through mountains.  Yeah, that was super fun, and poor Omi had to do it in a UHaul!  The UHaul we got had a picture of a zebra on it.  Ben would ask where the zebra truck was and we would be on the lookout for Omi.  (We each just did our only daily journey.  He had to stop more to fuel up the truck, but we had longer stop times.  Omi usually beat us to the destination)  Meo and I were very worried about Omi on those mountain roads, especially when we had to drive through thunderstorms and a little hail.  Coming down from the mountains we drove by him and saw he and Dagger had made it through.   Ben was so cute cheering, "My zebra truck!  Yay Omi!!"  

It timed out perfectly that we pulled into town and Aunt Gail and Uncle Dan's house together.  We made it!!  Ali and Sammy were very happy to be out of the car.  Ben was just so happy to see his daddy.  It was the cutest thing.  I think Omi was just happy to be done driving the truck.  It was a long drive, but really went better than I could have hoped.  The kids did great.  The truck survived.  We had made it.

Thank you to Gramma, Grampa, Aunt Lindsay, Uncle Chris, Charlotte, Joe, and Ella for meeting up with us along the way!  It was a long drive for a short visit, but we so appreciate it.  I am so happy Ali and Sammy got the meet their cousins.  And I know Ben had a blast.  A downfall of this move is being farther away from these great family members.  But I know we are all working to visit when we can and help the kids get even closer.  Thank you to Meo for driving three days in a minivan with three under three.  And thank you to Omi for driving a truck full of my family's possession across the country for three days.  With my cat.  I'd say I can't believe you all did this for our family, but the thing is I totally believe it.  You have always been there for me and my family, and once again you have shown what amazing people you all are.  Thank you.


-Kim

You can read about how the move came about here.

Next up: settling in!