Baby nicknames

A lot of people I know give their babies nicknames while they are in the womb.  I think this makes sense.  It's nice to have a name to call them, as opposed to just "it" or "the baby."  Pat and I like to find out the gender of our babies, but we keep the names we pick a secret until the baby is born.  There is a simple reason for this- we don't want other people's input on it.  I know, that sounds mean.  I don't intend for it to.  We talk about names with other people, and toss around ideas.  But I have found that when you are just discussing potential names, people feel free to bring up their negative opinions.  Yes, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but when it comes to naming my child only two opinions really matter to me- Pat's and mine.  Having a nickname for the baby gives us all something to call him or her until birth and the actual name is decided upon.

When we were expecting Ben Pat came up with his nickname.  One day early in the pregnancy, I flopped down on the couch on my belly.  Pat, in a silly mood, spouted off in an Irish accent "Don't squish the wee baby Seamus!"  Pat found this to be hilarious, and so did others.  I was not as amused at first, but whatever.  The nickname stuck, and Ben was referred to as Seamus.  Obviously we did not go with that for his real name, but it made us laugh throughout the pregnancy.

This time around the twins are nicknamed Thor and Hulk.  We don't know the genders yet, so the fact these are male names has no bearing on anything.  It just kind of happened that way.  They each had their own way of coming into use.

Thor is a short story.  When we were picking names for Ben we of course tossed out some silly ones.  I thought Thor made for a strong name for a boy.  Of course it had to be pronounced properly, a resounding "Thoooor."  When we first found out we were expecting again, I grabbed the chance to pick our nickname and announced we would have our Thor.  Not a very exciting tale, but I like it for a nickname.

Hulk came about a little differently, and has an additional back story.  I have heard that sometimes women just 'know' they are pregnant, no test needed.  Some sort of sign, a craving, a feeling, a dream, hints to them that they may be expecting.  With Ben this didn't happen.  I eagerly awaited the time to test and really had no idea what it would say.  Actually, I thought it would be negative.  Happily it wasn't.  This time around, I had a big sign that maybe I was indeed expecting again.

Sadly this isn't a cute pregnancy thing.  There are less than adorable and fun side effects of being pregnant that most people don't talk about.  For me, one less than stellar thing that happened while expecting Ben was, well, rage.  It isn't as bad as it sounds though.  There were about two occasions where I just saw red, was furious and had to leave the situation.  Before anyone worries that I will go nuts on them before the twins were born, they were both directed at Pat.  Everyone else is safe. :) (Sorry, Pat!)  What makes it funny, well, funny after the fact, is that it has always been about something stupid.  Seriously, I'd go off for ridiculous reasons.  I know one time was over which water glass belonged to whom.  Another was because Pat didn't like a name I did.  I have never experienced this kind of useless, literally see red, have to walk away kind of anger any other time.  Luckily it passed in a few minutes and Pat and I can laugh about it.

That being explained, let's go back to right before we found out we were expecting again.  One evening, Pat and I were hanging out and discussing groceries.  He was teasing me about cottage cheese.  I know, a stupid thing.  I went off on him.  Like seriously, angry, swearing, completely over reacting to this.  I stormed up the stairs and went to bed.  A little while later I had the though 'I wonder if...'  The next morning, sure enough, tested positive.

As I said before, I immediately labeled the baby as Thor.  Pat argued we should go with the Hulk since the baby made me, well, rage-y.  We went back and forth a bit and basically dropped it.  I mean, it wasn't really important.  It came back up the evening we found out we were having twins.  Pat turned to me and told me we were both right- we had a Thor and a Hulk.

So now our twins are referred to as Hulk and Thor.  We find out the genders very soon, but we'll stick to Hulk and Thor until they are born.

Hulk and Thor.  At least until they are born and we have real pictures. :)

-Kim

Boxes

We tend to save boxes for awhile in our house.  Sometimes we set them aside and forget about them, and sometimes I think the box will be a good one to ship things to others.  More often than not, it is because of this:

Put out a box, catch a cat.  It makes her so happy the boxes usually end up sitting out until I just can't take it anymore and finally recycle them.  Of course by then a new one will take its place.

We always have a ton of boxes at the office.  We get deliveries reasonably often.  Ben likes stacking the boxes, and putting things in them.  Much like at home we tend to just hold on to them until someone can't take it anymore.  A few hang out for a while as toy boxes.  The other day I looked over and found this:

With friends, in the box

What?  It's comfy.

Once again Ben proves that toddlers and cats aren't all that different.  I think these boxes will stick around a little longer. :)

-Kim

Hunting and Fishing Days

It is finally approaching fall like weather, which I adore.  I hate being too hot, so I tend to stick to the indoors in the summer.  Now that it is cooling off I am on the look out for outdoor activities for us to do with Ben!  This weekend we got lucky and happened to hear about Hunting and Fishing Days at the state park near us.  Neither Pat nor I had ever been to it before, but it was free admission.  Outdoor event and free?  Yeah, that's all it takes to get our attention.

We were so happy we went!  We had a ton of fun!  Right when we headed in the actual event we saw a giant fish tank full of different lake fish.  Ben went right for it.  Whenever we are at Meijers or a pet store we always have to stop and look at the fish.  He seemed to really enjoy how big these guys were!  There was a demonstration of dogs who were jumping into the lake to retrieve things.  Ben really liked watching the dogs jump into the lake, although we didn't get to see very much of it sadly.  

Most of what we did beyond watching the fish and the dogs was walk around and look at everything that was set up.  They had an historic campground to walk through.  Pat and I liked that, but Ben isn't quite old enough to appreciate that kind of thing yet. ;)  We watched people fish and canoe on the lake.  We did find a quiet place to stop and throw some rocks into the pond, Ben's favorite activity.  Before we left we stopped for a treat- snow cones!  It was Ben's first time having a snow cone.  He loved it.  We weren't sure, as he doesn't always like really cold stuff.  (Seriously, we have to melt his ice cream a bit.)  We shouldn't have worried though.  Because what is the best part of eating a snow cone?  That's right, using a straw to suck out all the sugar water as it melts.  So that is pretty much what Ben did.  I know, not the healthiest thing in the world to let him do.  But really of all the treat options there, snow cones were probably the best option.  The three of us shared two of them.  This way Ben didn't have to wait while we melted down ice, and Pat and I got to take turns eating ourselves.  I'm not sure how that will work when we have three kids...  At least for now it works well.

Overall it was a really pleasant little outing!  The event had a shooting range and falconry demonstration you could get to by bus, but we opted not to do that this year.  We didn't think it would hold Ben's attention, and the idea of a two year old who likes to make a break for it by a shooting range sounded like a bad one.  There were several activities geared right at kids, and I think Ben will really enjoy them when he is a bit older.  Right now he was content to be outside with Mommy and Daddy and watch all the people.  Oh, and eat a snow cone. :)

Excited about the fish!

It was pretty cool to see them up close

Watching the dogs swim

Sweet view of my boys

Checking out the animals- no fear!

We had to throw some rocks

Ben had no interest in pictures with Mommy

Love at first taste

It's so good!

I think this is an event we will try to attend in the future as well.  Hopefully by next year we'll feel comfortable taking the twins on this outing, but at least it will be fun times for Ben and Pat together.  It was a win all around!

-Kim

Fun with Omi

It's super fun to get to spend your days with your Omi.  

Lunch time shenanigans

(attempting to blow the napkin in the air like Omi)

reading time!

I am so thankful for all of Ben's grandparents.  We are a lucky family.

-Kim

Why siblings?-BFBN

It's a BFBN pinterest day!  Today we are all blogging about siblings, including sibling relationships, structure with siblings, and knowing when your family is complete.  As I currently only have 1 child, this is still theoretical for me.  We are expecting siblings for Ben in a few months though, and I have put a lot of thought into this topic.  Why does anyone decide to have multiple children?  There are a lot of reasons to.  One aspect that came up in my discussions with Pat was Ben having siblings.  We feel strongly that we want to give Ben siblings, and here is why.

I can honestly say I never thought much about giving my first child a sibling.  I don't think Pat really did either.  Back when we were dating and newly married, we always assumed we would have two kids.  We each grew up in a family with two kids, an older brother and younger sister.  In our minds that was the way it was going to be.  Oh sure, it could be older sister, younger brother.  But one of each would be great.  We both enjoy our siblings.  Of course we fought with them growing up.  Who doesn't fight with a sibling?  But we knew that having a sibling was valuable, and not something we would trade.

Then we had Ben.  So far, so good.  Check off the older brother box.  At first, I was convinced we would of course have another at some point.  I was fortunate, I had a pretty easy pregnancy and birth.  In fact I loved being pregnant.  Ben was so sweet and wonderful, I knew I wanted more babies.  And I still thought siblings were important.  In those early months it was easy to assume we would have another child.  Ben was still too young to seriously consider getting pregnant again, making it easy to think of it as a future concern.

This went on for awhile, when suddenly (at least that's how it felt), we entered the time period in which we thought we would have another kid.  Pat and I thought we would have our children about two years apart.  We did actually put some thought into that.  They would be close enough in age that we wouldn't be completely done with the little kid phase and have to start all over.  They could be friends with each other, but at two years apart they would be two years apart in school.  We felt this would make it easier for them to establish themselves as individuals and have their own 'thing.'  And we weren't getting any younger, so we had to move at a decent pace if we were going to have our kids in time.  What that "in time" means varies from couple to couple.  For us it involved looking down the road to how old we would be when the kids graduated high school and college.  We knew that while we love and enjoy our kid(s), we wanted a chance to get back to being the two of us at some point.  We wanted to enjoy our children as adults.

Suddenly being in the time frame where we thought we would have another child was different than I thought it would be.  Of course after how many years of safe sex talks and actively preventing pregnancy, it is always strange to think that would become the goal.  Now some new issues came up.  Finances were a big one.  It's pragmatic and not at all loving, but being financially able to support our children was very important.  We did not want to have a child we couldn't afford.  Also, things were different when deciding to go for a second child.  When you are trying for your first, everything can be very romanticized.  I know I pictured cuddling, cute outfits, and family giggle sessions.  Oh, I knew kids poop and spit up and cry a lot.  But until you have lived it 24/7 you don't always know what you are in for.  Second kid?  Oh, we knew what we were in for.  Well, let me rephrase that.  We knew what we were in for with a baby.  Two kids at once?  That was still foreign territory.  Only now we knew enough to know we didn't have a clue.  That's a bit scarier.  We were cruising along with one.  Two parents and one kid is a good ratio.  Dare we upset that balance and go for number two?

Well, obviously we did go for number two.  (And got a bonus third!)   We put a lot of thought into it, and decided any fears were worth it.  Of course we were worried about upsetting the balance of our family.  And yes, we knew we were in for another year of babyhood, and more diapers, more spit up, more messes.  Yes, we knew finances would be tighter with two kids.  We were willing to and wanting to make it work.  For Pat and me, well, our family wasn't yet complete.

One thing that makes it hard is wondering what Ben will think of all this.  We talk to him about the babies all the time.  But as he just turned two, he doesn't fully get what that means yet.  So far his life hasn't really changed at all. Sure, he has hung out with Meo and Omi a little more when I've gone to appointments, and there are a few new items floating around the house.  Nothing major has changed though.  Like all mothers, I am worried what he will think.  Will he hate me for bringing two little rivals for our attention into his life?  Will he miss the one-on-one time he has any time he likes with his parents?  Will he hate having to share and wait his turn?  I have the normal mom concerns.  How will I love another child as much as I love and adore my Ben?  How will I balance the needs of three little people who will depend on me for so much?  With three kids, only two hands, and one heart, will there be enough mom to go around?

Yes, it is a bit late to be asking these questions, as we are half way to twin town.  Despite any concerns, I know we are making the right decision to have siblings for Ben.  Like I said, overall Pat and I enjoyed growing up with siblings.  More important, I think, is that we are so happy to have them now.  Siblings are your first home team. Oh sure, mom and dad are there for you. But siblings are fellow kids.  They are your allies in the world that understand what you are going through in a way parents can't, because they are going through it right with you.  They are the only people who will know what it was like to grow up in your house with your crazy parents.  They are your first playmates.   They are your teachers.  I think I learned a lot of conflict resolution from fighting with my brother.  Of course I also learned how to really push someone's buttons.  I suppose my kids will learn that on each other too.  Siblings can watch out for each other in the world in way parents can't.  I can't be there in school every day with my kids, but, for at least some of the years, they will be in the same schools and can look out for each other.  You can share with your siblings without worrying about getting into trouble.  Like I said, you have a built in home team.  I think that is a great thing to have in this world.

Of course despite all my hopes I can't promise that Ben and his siblings will get along.  But I can hope they do.  And I can try to teach them skills and techniques to have a good relationship.  Despite fears that Ben is going to be angry about having siblings, I am excited to see him as a big brother.  I really think he will be wonderful.  He is such a sweet, fun, caring, and playful little boy.  These twins are lucky to have him.  I know Ben will be lucky to have them too.

For our little family, the decision to have more children really was a clear one. We knew our family wasn't complete, and a part of that was the desire for Ben to have siblings.  I know that isn't the case for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Despite my concerns about how life with three will change, I can't wait to see my three little ones grow up together.  Sure, they will fight.  Sure, all five of us will drive each other crazy at times.  I'll miss the sweet, peaceful moments you get with your child when you only have one to worry about.  But we are and always will be a team.  Every step of parenting has unlocked new levels of love and patience I never knew I could experience.  This will be no exception.  I know we made the right choice by adding siblings for Ben.

-Kim



Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Faithfully Infertile
The Journey of Parenthood
The Moses Home
Wiley Adventures

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Corn Chowder

I never know for sure what Ben will eat.  Oh sure, I have some ideas as to what he likes.  But he's a toddler.  Just because he has liked something every day for the past year doesn't mean he will like it tomorrow.  Despite this, we try not to stress out about what Ben is eating too much.  Overall he has a pretty healthy diet.  We want him to like lots of foods, so we usually give Ben small amounts of whatever Pat and I are eating along with foods we know he will eat.  I can honestly say most of the time I am right about assuming Ben won't like stuff.  This is one time I was so wrong.

Sunday after Ben woke up from nap he was pestering me in the kitchen.  I was making some corn chowder to go with dinner, and I finally gave him a taste.  I really thought he would hate it and that would be the end.  He'd get bored, go play, and I would get to finish making dinner.  No, that is not what happened.  Ben asked for a second taste.  Then a third.  It was only about 45 minutes until dinner time, so I told him no more til dinner. The poor boy burst into tears at this.  Well, who am I to say no to that?  I mean, it was reasonably healthy.  I told him if he wanted more, he would have to sit in his high chair.  This often causes him to decide he isn't that hungry after all.  Nope.  He ran right over and waited to be put into his chair.  He sat and ate two and a half bowls of chowder.  Then he took a break.  Later, when Pat and I finally sat down to dinner, he ate almost two more bowls of this chowder.  Now, they were his toddler bowls.  They aren't super big.  But still. That is a lot of chowder for a little dude!

Overall I can only conclude that I really have no clue what my toddler will eat at any point in time. Either that or I make some killer corn chowder.  :)

Going to town!

Of course the real test will be if he eats it again.  That is a mystery to be solved later...

-Kim

Update:  Ben refused to eat the chowder when offered on another night.  Phew, all is right with toddler logic. :)

Unplanned milestones

In the past couple of weeks, Ben has hit some milestones I was not expecting, nor was I really working towards.  I know, most milestones are exciting.  They are new skills and abilities that open up doors for us to have more fun.  Then there are some that just show me how much of a baby my sweet baby isn't anymore.  Those can hit hard.  True, in the long run I know they are for the best and I am glad we have met them.  They will make life easier.  But they mean my little boy is growing up, sometimes faster than I want.  They are both little things.  Things that most people would scoff at my even mentioning, but I know other moms out there understand my feelings.

The first is we ditched the pacifier.  Ben has used a pacifier for, well, for a long time.  I remember Meo showing me how to teach Ben to use it.  I remember how from about months 4-6 he was rarely without it.  I remember the comfort it brought him, and his sweet little face with some adorable pacifiers working their magic.  I know some parents don't like them, but Pat and I were very okay with it.  First, it did help soothe him.  It helped him sleep.  Yes, there were annoying nights where we had to go in and replace the pacifier what felt like a bajillion times.  Overall I will take that though.  It was so much faster to pop it back in when he was just starting to stir and hadn't fully woken up.  Out of bed for 30 seconds to pop in a pacifier vs a fully awake crying baby?  Yeah, I'll take the pacifier.  Fortunately for us Ben dropped use of it on his own.  As soon as he passed the stages where constant sucking was a comfort we confined the pacifier use to his bed only.  It become a symbol that it was time to rest.  It relaxed him. And once he could replace it himself we had no plans to get rid of it.  Really, as long as he kept it in his bed only we were kind of going to let him set the pace on weaning.  I thought around age three maybe we would talk about ending it, but no rush at all. 

 But that changed.  Ben started chewing on his pacifiers.  It would take a few weeks, but we would find them with holes and cracks.  We replaced them, but it started happening more and more frequently.  Honestly, we didn't want to be buying new pacifiers every week.  Then there was that pesky fear that he would chew off bits of plastic, swallow them, maybe choke.  You know, the safety things.  So one night, we stopped the pacifiers.  He asked for them once or twice, but really just shrugged off this change as a whatever.  He sleeps just fine without them.  Of course I am proud of him and pleased that this was a non-issue.  Then I find a pacifier somewhere, and remember my tiny baby.  I can't bring myself to throw them all out yet.  

Sweet little baby

The other new change is also a good one.  We learned that Ben can sit at a table and eat without a booster seat or high chair.  He doesn't do it often.  I mean,  he is two, we still need to contain him to contain the mess most of the time.  But we had a few times we had to go without the high chair, and Ben did just fine.  Sure, it is hard to eat when your chin is just below table level.  He does a great job though.  Even though he sits low at the table, he looks like such a big boy sitting without a special chair.  I know I wanted him to reach this stage by the time the twins needed his high chair.  But come on, that won't be for like a year!  Ben would be three when the twins are ready to start solids at six months old.  Again, this isn't an always thing.  He still gets too messy to risk him jumping up and running around.  Life is easier knowing he can do this, less stress if we forget or just don't have access to a high chair.  But my baby is becoming a big boy.

Big boy!

I know, this is trivial stuff and most people will think I'm silly for even commenting on it.  Really these events are positive, if non-issues in the grand scheme of things.  They are just another sign of how fast my baby boy is growing up, and I wanted to take a moment to think on it.  I'm a lucky mom to have such a wonderful son.

-Kim