Corn Chowder

I never know for sure what Ben will eat.  Oh sure, I have some ideas as to what he likes.  But he's a toddler.  Just because he has liked something every day for the past year doesn't mean he will like it tomorrow.  Despite this, we try not to stress out about what Ben is eating too much.  Overall he has a pretty healthy diet.  We want him to like lots of foods, so we usually give Ben small amounts of whatever Pat and I are eating along with foods we know he will eat.  I can honestly say most of the time I am right about assuming Ben won't like stuff.  This is one time I was so wrong.

Sunday after Ben woke up from nap he was pestering me in the kitchen.  I was making some corn chowder to go with dinner, and I finally gave him a taste.  I really thought he would hate it and that would be the end.  He'd get bored, go play, and I would get to finish making dinner.  No, that is not what happened.  Ben asked for a second taste.  Then a third.  It was only about 45 minutes until dinner time, so I told him no more til dinner. The poor boy burst into tears at this.  Well, who am I to say no to that?  I mean, it was reasonably healthy.  I told him if he wanted more, he would have to sit in his high chair.  This often causes him to decide he isn't that hungry after all.  Nope.  He ran right over and waited to be put into his chair.  He sat and ate two and a half bowls of chowder.  Then he took a break.  Later, when Pat and I finally sat down to dinner, he ate almost two more bowls of this chowder.  Now, they were his toddler bowls.  They aren't super big.  But still. That is a lot of chowder for a little dude!

Overall I can only conclude that I really have no clue what my toddler will eat at any point in time. Either that or I make some killer corn chowder.  :)

Going to town!

Of course the real test will be if he eats it again.  That is a mystery to be solved later...

-Kim

Update:  Ben refused to eat the chowder when offered on another night.  Phew, all is right with toddler logic. :)

Unplanned milestones

In the past couple of weeks, Ben has hit some milestones I was not expecting, nor was I really working towards.  I know, most milestones are exciting.  They are new skills and abilities that open up doors for us to have more fun.  Then there are some that just show me how much of a baby my sweet baby isn't anymore.  Those can hit hard.  True, in the long run I know they are for the best and I am glad we have met them.  They will make life easier.  But they mean my little boy is growing up, sometimes faster than I want.  They are both little things.  Things that most people would scoff at my even mentioning, but I know other moms out there understand my feelings.

The first is we ditched the pacifier.  Ben has used a pacifier for, well, for a long time.  I remember Meo showing me how to teach Ben to use it.  I remember how from about months 4-6 he was rarely without it.  I remember the comfort it brought him, and his sweet little face with some adorable pacifiers working their magic.  I know some parents don't like them, but Pat and I were very okay with it.  First, it did help soothe him.  It helped him sleep.  Yes, there were annoying nights where we had to go in and replace the pacifier what felt like a bajillion times.  Overall I will take that though.  It was so much faster to pop it back in when he was just starting to stir and hadn't fully woken up.  Out of bed for 30 seconds to pop in a pacifier vs a fully awake crying baby?  Yeah, I'll take the pacifier.  Fortunately for us Ben dropped use of it on his own.  As soon as he passed the stages where constant sucking was a comfort we confined the pacifier use to his bed only.  It become a symbol that it was time to rest.  It relaxed him. And once he could replace it himself we had no plans to get rid of it.  Really, as long as he kept it in his bed only we were kind of going to let him set the pace on weaning.  I thought around age three maybe we would talk about ending it, but no rush at all. 

 But that changed.  Ben started chewing on his pacifiers.  It would take a few weeks, but we would find them with holes and cracks.  We replaced them, but it started happening more and more frequently.  Honestly, we didn't want to be buying new pacifiers every week.  Then there was that pesky fear that he would chew off bits of plastic, swallow them, maybe choke.  You know, the safety things.  So one night, we stopped the pacifiers.  He asked for them once or twice, but really just shrugged off this change as a whatever.  He sleeps just fine without them.  Of course I am proud of him and pleased that this was a non-issue.  Then I find a pacifier somewhere, and remember my tiny baby.  I can't bring myself to throw them all out yet.  

Sweet little baby

The other new change is also a good one.  We learned that Ben can sit at a table and eat without a booster seat or high chair.  He doesn't do it often.  I mean,  he is two, we still need to contain him to contain the mess most of the time.  But we had a few times we had to go without the high chair, and Ben did just fine.  Sure, it is hard to eat when your chin is just below table level.  He does a great job though.  Even though he sits low at the table, he looks like such a big boy sitting without a special chair.  I know I wanted him to reach this stage by the time the twins needed his high chair.  But come on, that won't be for like a year!  Ben would be three when the twins are ready to start solids at six months old.  Again, this isn't an always thing.  He still gets too messy to risk him jumping up and running around.  Life is easier knowing he can do this, less stress if we forget or just don't have access to a high chair.  But my baby is becoming a big boy.

Big boy!

I know, this is trivial stuff and most people will think I'm silly for even commenting on it.  Really these events are positive, if non-issues in the grand scheme of things.  They are just another sign of how fast my baby boy is growing up, and I wanted to take a moment to think on it.  I'm a lucky mom to have such a wonderful son.

-Kim

Twin questions

I haven't really posted much about the twins yet.  There are a couple of reasons for that.  One is we wanted to wait a bit to make sure that they were doing well before we started talking about them too much.  We have no reason to believe anything should happen to them, but vanishing twin syndrome is a thing.  We just wanted to feel more confident in how they were doing.  The main reason is basically second (and in this case third) child problems- we're busy.  I know, terrible excuse, but it is true.  When I was having Ben I remember every week feeling like it took forever.  The time between check ups was sooo looong.  Now?  Time is going by very quickly.  We are almost half way there!  I feel a little bad, but I know this is what happens as life gets busier, and when you have a toddler that insists on getting attention all the time. ;)

All that being said, I thought I would post some answers to the most common questions I get.

Q:  When are they due?
A:  My due date is currently Valentine's Day.  However, being twins they will most likely come early.  My doctor said she likes twins to be born around 38 weeks, as opposed to 40.  I am hoping they stay in me and grow for as long as possible.  The longer they stay in the better in my book!  So prayers that they stay put until February are appreciated.

Q:  Do we know the genders?
A:  Not yet.  We will be finding out.  I think it is awesome when people wait til delivery, but that is not for us.  I like to plan and be prepared, and for me that means knowing the gender.  I think it will also help us when talking to Ben about the babies.  Plus, let's be honest, we got our 'surprise' when we found out there were two.

Q:  Are they fraternal or identical?
A:  We don't know yet.  The way they are currently camped out in there, it could be either.  There are a few ways to know for sure if they are fraternal.  If they are different genders or have different blood types we will know.  There are many ways twins can be arranged in utero.  It's actually kind of cool to read about.  I won't go into a ton of detail, since I think most people just want the short answer.  That is- we don't know.  There is a good chance they are identical, but of course they could be fraternal.

Q:  Is Ben excited?
A:  No?  To be honest, I don't really think he has a clue what is going on.  So far we haven't pulled out baby stuff or moved anything around yet.  We do talk to him about that babies.  But, well, he's two.  If it doesn't directly impact him right now, he isn't really interested.  We aren't worried, he'll adjust like all kids do.

Q:  Are you moving?
A:  No.  We might be crazy for this one.  We thought about moving to get more room.  However Ben is rarely in his room.  He mainly sleeps there.  The twins will spend a couple of months sleeping in our room.  Once they move out of our room, they will really use a bedroom for sleep only.  And we really want to focus on saving money.  Add to that either moving now while I am able to help and paying for more space than we need or waiting to move in the middle of the holidays, and it just didn't make sense.  We are going to switch rooms, making our big master bedroom the kids' room.  It will be an adventure, and I am willing it to work. :)

Q:  Were they planned?  Were you planning on twins?  Are they natural?
A:  Oy, these questions.  Frankly how anyone plans a family is their business, so this isn't my favorite question.  Yes, we planned on having a second child after Ben.  The "were you planning for twins" and "are they natural" are awkward questions.  I know most people don't mean any harm by them, but again how someone gets pregnant is really no one else's business.  I know these are touchy questions for some couples, as they are basically code for "did you have fertility treatments?"  I know most of these come from a place of honest curiosity, and aren't meant to be judgmental.  And I know I have thought them myself.  All that being said, no, we were not planning on twins.  One, I don't think it is possible to plan for identical twins, if in fact they are identical.  I mean, I don't think fertility treatments can be sure to make a single egg split.  Two, we did not use fertility drugs.  All babies are natural, so yes, they are natural.  Twins without 'assistance' are called spontaneous, and these two are spontaneous twins.

Q:  Do twins run in your family?
A:  Well they do now!  I know this one can be a sneaky way to check for fertility treaments (see above question), but I know this one doesn't always mean that.  When I wondered that about people, it usually went along with me thinking through my family tree to see if I was likely to have twins.  I can honestly say Pat and I never thought we would have twins.  Meo has twins in her family, but they are people I've never met and far enough removed that we wouldn't consider it running in the family.  In the odd way the world works, Pat actually has twin cousins that are fraternal twins, and we all know Ben has cousins from Pat's sister that are fraternal twins.  This is all just a crazy coincidence.  In order for fraternal twins to run in families, it has to be passed down through the maternal line.  Think about it, fraternal means two eggs.  The men have nothing to do with that.  Pat's cousins and our niece and nephew all come from different maternal lines, which obviously is different from the one I am a part of.  So if the twins are fraternal, there is no connection to these other twins in the family.  If they are identical it kind of just happens that the egg splits.  There are no identical twins in our family close enough to consider 'running in the family.'  Short answer- no.  Twins, despite being present in our family do not run in the family.  We had no reason to think we would have twins, and it is basically a crazy coincidence that Pat's sister and our family will both have twins.  The world is strange sometimes.

Q:  Were you freaked out at first?
A:  Yes!  Of course!  We had a plan for one more child.  Two at once changes everything.  We are now excited and updating the plan as needed. :)

Q:  D you think you'll have more children after this?
A:  No.  No.  The life plan was two kids, and we are getting a bonus.  I am pretty confident this will be it.  (I reserve the right to change our minds, but it is a big old no right now.)

I think that covers a lot of the main questions I have gotten over the past few weeks.  Overall I don't mind them.  Twins are exciting and I think people have a geniune curiosity about them.  I know I do, and have asked a lot of these questions myself (if not always out loud).  I do enjoy talking about the twins and Ben.  What mother doesn't love talking about her kids?  We are looking forward to the new additions to our family.  Of course it will change everything, but I know our lives are just going to get better with these two new sweet babies.  I think Ben is going to be an amazing big brother.  I can't wait to see him in the role.  We feel blessed to have the wonderful family we have and are getting in the future.

-Kim

Side note:  I am not a doctor or a twin expert.  I have done a lot of reading on the topic since we found out about the twins, but I am not a specialist.  I think I have my explanations and understanding of how this twin thing works right, but I fully admit I could have gotten parts wrong.  So basically, don't quote me as a source on how twins run through families or grow or develop or anything.  I'm still learning. :)

BFBN: 5 Reasons I Love Babywise- Guest Post

Today I am fortunate to have Valerie from Chronicles of a Babywise Mom guest posting!  She has been blogging about babywise for eight years now, so she really knows her stuff!  Specifically today she is talking about why she loves babywise.  I agree with all of it, especially the sleep part!  She has great reasons for the why behind the what, and I really like what she has to say about it.

I am over at Giving it Grace today.  I have climbed back up on my science-is-awesome soapbox to talk about how we can start teaching kids to love science, even at 2 years old.  These are things that I either have done or try to do with Ben.  I really want him to embrace the wonder of the world and not be afraid to ask why.  Yay for science!
-Kim

5 Reasons I Love Babywise
by Valerie Plowman

I have blogged extensively for nearly eight years on the topic of parenting in general, and Babywise specifically. Now, think about writing about something 5-6 times a week for eight years. Do you think if you did that, you might really like the topic? Of course you would! And I do. Babywise has been such a blessing in our lives as as family. As I think about my long-term writing and where we are today, I wanted to share 5 reasons I love Babywise and why we have stuck with it through all four of our children.

1-We all get the sleep we need

In the early days, before we started Babywise, we didn't sleep much. At all. Once we implemented Babywise, sleep immediately improved. We all get the sleep we need. As a mom, I get enough sleep each night. That helps me be a patient, kind, engaged, and productive mother the next day. I am the best mom I can be.

There are people like to criticize mothers for wanting to sleep. I stand up, unashamed, and say I want to get sleep each night. I want that not because I am selfish, but because I want to be able to care for my children at my optimal level during the day. Through implementing Babywise, we have all been able to get the most sleep we could over the years. 

To this day, sleep is still something we respect as a family and work to protect and preserve. My children are well rested for school the next day and it shows. See How Healthy Sleep Principles Have Benefited My Children from Infancy to Preteen for more on that. 

2-Independent playtime

Oh my goodness I love Independent Playtime! Independent Playtime is when your child plays alone each day for about an hour. Alone. Without you. Why has this been a benefit? For each child, it has been a time for the child to learn to problem solve and self entertain. These are invaluable skills in life. 

It has also benefited our family. When I brought home a new baby and had a 22 month old toddler at home, that hour each day was a time I could focus on my new baby--just the two of us spending some time alone each day. Toddlers are demanding, but because of naps and independent play, I was able to give great focus to my babies. 

It has been a great time for siblings to get a break from each other as they have gotten older. They all love each other and love spending time together, but we humans all need some time apart at times. 3 months of summer break is long, so having an hour each day to go our separate ways and have some alone time is a great relationship saver. It helps the children get along throughout the day together. See Benefits of Independent Play for more on that. 

3-Order and predictability in our days

I love to know what is coming. I have found my children do, too. Having a routine each day is a sanity saver for me and a comfort for my children. Starting life with a routine and continuing it as my children have grown has helped them feel secure. See Benefits of Structure and Routine for more on that. 

4-We have added babies with little stress

Remember what I said above about sleep and independent play? Also the predictability? Each time we have brought a new baby home, we have been able to do so with very little stress. I have been able to carry on as almost usual (while adopting our new normal) while still caring for a new baby. We add that baby into our routine and family structure and adjust to our new normal. The children still get their naps and independent play. They still get time with me because the baby is on a routine. Life changes, but it doesn't turn on its head. See Welcoming Baby to the Family and Baby Joins a Family {AND} Family Adds a Baby for more on that. 

5-We are able to focus on bigger matters

I often talk about the benefits I see in my older children today. I am so glad that we have things like sleeping and basic obedience down so that when bigger life matters come up, we are able to focus on those concerns and not be trying to figure out how to get our child to sleep through the night and how to deal with mean kids at school. Those basic details were dealt with years ago so we are able to add the new challenges of life as they come without being completely overwhelmed. See Benefits of Babywise in Older Children for more on that.

Valerie is a wife and mother to four children, ages 3-10. She blogs at www.babywisemom.com. 

Check out all the ladies of the BFBN to learn more!

Apffel a Day
Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
Faithfully Infertile
Giving it Grace
The Journey of Parenthood
The Moses Home
Team Cartwright
Wiley Adventures

Last swim of summer

Happy Labor Day!

Well,  Happy Labor Day yesterday.  We spent a relaxing afternoon over at Meo and Omi's house.  It was great to get out of the house, but also nice not to have to do anything too hard core.  Ben got to play and run around, we ate some yummy food, and everyone got to relax.

Ben got to have what will probably be his last swim of summer.  We had hoped to go to the big pool this weekend, but the last day they were open was Friday.  I understand most of their lifeguards were back at school, but we were disappointed.  We do have the giant pool we can pull out at our place.  But honestly, sometimes Pat and I are just too lazy for that.  Luckily for us Meo and Omi volunteered to set up their little pool for Ben.  Yes, it is tiny, but it has big fun!  Ben loves it!

 Doesn't he look like he should be heading to vacation in Hawaii or something?  Bringing toys over to Meo and Omi's house- close enough! :)

Along with swimming there were some good walks with Daddy.  Ben loves to be outside, and I love that Pat does as well.  Especially when it is hot and humid out.  (I'd blame pregnancy, but, well, we all know it's really an all the time thing.)  It is so cute to watch them explore together.  They had fun walking around and tossing sticks into the pond.

Add to all this outdoor fun some tasty food and it was a perfect afternoon.  Thank you to Meo and Omi for hosting us.  I'll miss a lot of our summer fun, but I am looking forward to the fall!  Cooler weather, the corn maze, the falling leaves... so many fun activities are coming up.  I can't wait to share it with Ben and Pat!

-Kim

Bed head

No matter how long the night before, no matter how hard the day ahead of me might be, no matter how exhausted I may think I am, waking op to this face makes it all seem wonderful.

And that bedhead!  I will never get tired of that.  I need to save this picture for when Ben grows up.  Hmmm, maybe I should start a collection of photos, "Bedhead through the years."  That could prove to be a valuable collection during the difficult teen years....  (Mom win for sure;) )

-Kim

Ben's Birthday Party!

We had a small party for Ben's big second birthday.  We kept this one pretty small for a couple of reasons.  One is, well, Ben is only 2.  I know he isn't going to remember this birthday.  I of course want it to be fun for him, but he doesn't care if it is a giant blow out or not.  Some cake and family is all he needs.  Two- it kept costs down.  This is always a consideration, but with twins on the way it is even more important we stay on budget.  Three- instead of one big party, Ben had a couple of little ones.  He got to celebrate in Arkansas besides his home party.  We had planned to celebrate again with Uncle Jared, but sadly I got sick and we couldn't make that trip.  I was seriously very bummed about that.  Sorry, Uncle Jared!

I know we probably could have skipped the party entirely, but I just couldn't do that.  I was a little sad we didn't have a big blow out, Ben gave me the easiest theme every this year.  Mickey Mouse!  Ben adores Mickey Mouse, and it really has to be the easiest party theme ever.  Every party store has Mickey decorations.  Pinterest has about a million ideas that actually seem doable.  Fortunately I was able to reign myself in and not go nuts over this party.  We did a simple Mickey theme.  Pat grilled hot dogs (to go with the Hot diggity dog song), Meo and Omi brought over a giant Mickey balloon, and we had a Mickey Mouse cake.  We also all watched an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which is Ben's most favorite show ever.  (It is the cutest thing ever.  Any time we play the show for him he points and waves at Mickey, just so happy that Mickey came back to see him.  I know he shouldn't watch much tv, but it is hard to deny him this true love!)  There is actually a Mickey's birthday episode, how perfect is that for a birthday party?

That is it, the whole shebang.  Meo and Omi came over to celebrate with us.  We were lucky to have Auntie Laura come to the party too.  We ate dinner, opened presents, had cake, watched Mickey and played.  Ben loved it, and that is my favorite part.  He really liked that his family and friend were over at his house and playing with his toys.  We got him just a couple of presents, of course Mickey themed.  (Seriously, he went from having one little Mickey toy to about a bazillion in one birthday.)  His favorite was the toy version of the clubhouse.  My favorite were the gifts of money for Ben's college fund.  :)  I know, not fun for Ben now, but he'll appreciate it later in life.

Overall, I think it was the perfect birthday for him right now.  I am so happy we did the big party for his first birthday.  First birthdays are a huge deal, and yes, I do feel it is important for the parents to celebrate surviving that first year.  This one though was really all about Ben.  He got to spend time with the people he loves (both here and in Arkansas).  He got some gifts he really enjoys.  And he got to participate in some of his favorite activities.  My heart was so full seeing how happy he was at his party.  His joy is what his birthday should be all about.

Presents!

I still get to help with the tape.

Checking out his new computer

Right away he let Omi share his new toys

Surveying his loot. :)

Loving the clubhouse!

Watching Mickey with Meo and Omi

The Mickey Balloon!

I love this picture, he looks so happy!

After we sang he jabbed his finger into the cake.  His birthday, his rules. ;)

Best birthday yet!!

Last couple of things.  The Mickey balloon is still alive and well.  It is about as big as Ben is.  He adores it.  He hugs it, tries to feed it, just in general thinks it's the best thing ever.  Dagger, on the other hand, abhors the balloon.  She is seriously terrified of it.  She will not come downstairs while it is out.  We have to close it in the bathroom when Ben is asleep or we aren't home so she will come downstairs.  It's actually kind of funny.

Ben actually ate his cake at this party!  It took him a few minutes to settle down to eat, but once he got a bite he went to town.  No, cake will not often be on the menu around the Cartwright house, but for birthdays it is okay.

I want to say a great big thank you to everyone who made Ben's second birthday so great.  Thank you to Gramma, Grampa, Aunt Lindsay, Uncle Chris, Charlotte, Joe, and Ella for giving Ben a great birthday in Arkansas.  Thank you to everyone who sent gifts and cards to Ben, we really do appreciate it.  Thank you to Meo and Omi for coming to Ben's party, bringing the balloon, and celebrating with us.  And a special thank you to Auntie Laura for always being such a great friend and loving my son so much.  My  heart is so full thinking about the love and happiness shared with my sweet boy, and that is really what is most important when celebrating a birthday.

-Kim